Parking

[rmsh16]

Please alter grammatical changes and also suggest different methods of conveying the message..

It has been observed that employees / customers are parking the vehicle in front of the operational area (dock area) resulting in pilferage of material. You are hereby ordered to park your vehicle in the parking zone to control the malpractices. This order is issued with immediate effect and you are hereby advised to strictly adhere to the rules set in.

Thanks

 

[David L.]

It has been observed that employees / customers are parking their vehicles in front of the operational area (dock area), resulting in pilferage of material. To counteract these offences, you are hereby ordered to park your vehicle in the designated parking zone . This order is issued with immediate effect and your strict adherence henceforth is strongly advised.

(I have retained the use of 'you' as written in the original.)

 

[rmsh16]

thanks mr. david.

i just want to know what will be the catchy line for this paragraph?

" PARKING PROHIBITED IN THE OPERATIONAL AREA "

 

[David L.]

Parking Prohibited In Operational Area

Parking Prohibited In Dock Area

Parking Ban In Operational Area

Parking Ban In Dock Area

(In capitals - I wrote this twice in capitals and the word processor changes it into sentence case!!)

 

[rmsh16]

I have altered the sentence (in colour) becoz the language is bit harsh.....
Your comments, pl.
[FONT=&quot]It has been observed that employees / customers are parking their vehicles in front of the operational area (dock area), resulting in traffic hazard. So it has been advised that all vehicles to be parked in the designated parking zone. This order is issued with immediate effect and your strict adherence henceforth is strongly advised.[/FONT]

 

[Anglika]

thanks mr. david.

i just want to know what will be the catchy line for this paragraph?

" PARKING PROHIBITED IN THE OPERATIONAL AREA "

NO PARKING IN [LOADING/DOCK] AREA

 

[Anglika]

I have altered the sentence (in colour) becoz the language is bit harsh.....
Your comments, pl.
[FONT=&quot]It has been observed that employees / customers are parking their vehicles in front of the operational area (dock area), resulting in a traffic hazard. So it has been advised that all vehicles must be/ are to be parked in the designated parking zone. This order is issued with immediate effect and your strict adherence henceforth is strongly advised.[/FONT]

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