People believed Bob wore dark

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct. I am not sure if my punctuation is correct, either.

People believed Bob wore dark sunglasses to look cool, while actually, he suffered from a rare eye condition. Even a small amount of direct sunlight caused him pain and swollen eyes.
 

GoesStation

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Dec 22, 2015
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Here's a chance to exercise your comma extinguisher. The first sentence doesn't need any and would be improved by substituting when for while.
 
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