[Grammar] Peter had been one of the most active members of NIP who ...

Flogger

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
Hello.

I've written something in English but I'm not sure if the sequence of tenses are correct. would you please tell me if my sentence is grammatical?

Peter had been one of the most active members of NIP who gradually took important seats in the institute and played a vital role in absorbing youths, especially millennials into the institute.

Thank you in advance.
 

Tarheel

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Perhaps:

Peter had been one of the most active members of NIP, and over time he took important seats in the institute and played a vital role in absorbing youths, especially millennials, into the institute.
 
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