Please check my ESSAY

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jomo27

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My teacher told us to write an essay about ICTs and the uses of it.

And below is my analyze about the essay and source I found.

Please check it.

Thanks. :)


I found that the sources I got from different websites are quite interesting. They tell the meaning of ICTs and uses of it in different ways. One of the sources mentions the uses of ICTs in developed and developing countries. And one other describes the sectors that are using ICTs, such as in education, businesses, environment, cities, health, etc. Furthermore, they tell us that in the mean time, ICTs are being used very frequently and they're still trying to develop it as good as possible to be used. They also describe the most uses of ICTs are in schools and universities. And hopefully, the development would be great as we do. I think those sources are really good and help me a lot to understand what's the real meaning of ICTs and the uses of it between developed and developing countries as well as the development. Below are the links that I found and I took some of the good explanations and quotes.
 

jomo27

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I found that the sources I got from different websites are quite interesting. They tell the meaning of ICTs and uses of it in different ways. One of the sources mentions the uses of ICTs in developed and developing countries. And one other describes the sectors that are using ICTs, such as in education, businesses, environment, cities, health, etc. Furthermore, they tell us that in the mean time, ICTs are being used very frequently and they're still trying to develop it as good as possible to be used. They also describe the most uses of ICTs are in schools and universities. And hopefully, the development would be great as we do. I think those sources are really good and help me a lot to understand what's the real meaning of ICTs and the uses of it between developed and developing countries as well as the development. Below are the links that I found and I took some of the good explanations and quotes.


Check this one please.
 

David L.

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I found that the sources I got from different websites are quite interesting.
I found the sources available on various websites to be very interesting and informative.

They tell the meaning of ICTs and uses of it in different ways.
They covered the meaning of ICTs and their different uses.

One of the sources mentions the uses of ICTs in developed and developing countries.
Combine the two sentences into:
They covered the meaning of ICTs, and their different uses in both western and developing countries.

And one other describes the sectors that are using ICTs, such as in education, businesses, environment, cities, health, etc.
Further, one site in particular described how ICTs are being applied in such diverse sectors as education, business, the environment, health and urban areas.

Furthermore, they tell us that in the mean time, ICTs are being used very frequently
' in the meantime' implies 'until something else happens' . eg "I am hoping to buy my very first computer soon. In the meantime, I still have to write letters to be able to contact friends." Also, all the areas you have mentioned in the sentence before this implies that they are being used frequently, so it is redundant (= repeating something already said)
and they're still trying to develop it as good as possible to be used. They also describe the most uses of ICTs are in schools and universities. [/COLOR]
Follow straight on from the sentence above :
..and urban areas. However, it is schools and universities that are currently the major uses of ICTs.

And hopefully, the development would be great as we do.
Your meaning is not clear to me. It suggests, the progress in development of ICTs overseas is hopefully as great as in Korea.
What are you really trying to say here?

I think those sources are really good and help me a lot to understand what's the real meaning of ICTs and the uses of it between developed and developing countries as well as the development.
In my opinion, these sources are very educational and have helped me to understand far more about ICTs and its uses/(applications) worldwide.

Below are the links that I found and from took some of the good explanations and quotes.
Below are the links that I found and from which I obtained this information.

I trust you will compare your original with my suggested changes carefully, and use this to help you develop your fluency in writing English!
DL
 
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jomo27

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Allright.

I'll be waiting. :)

Thanks dude!
 

jomo27

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I found that the sources I got from different websites are quite interesting.
I found the sources available on various websites to be very interesting and informative.

They tell the meaning of ICTs and uses of it in different ways.
They covered the meaning of ICTs and their different uses.

One of the sources mentions the uses of ICTs in developed and developing countries.
Combine the two sentences into:
They covered the meaning of ICTs, and their different uses in both western and developing countries.

And one other describes the sectors that are using ICTs, such as in education, businesses, environment, cities, health, etc.
Further, one site in particular described how ICTs are being applied in such diverse sectors as education, business, the environment, health and urban areas.

Furthermore, they tell us that in the mean time, ICTs are being used very frequently
' in the meantime' implies 'until something else happens' . eg "I am hoping to buy my very first computer soon. In the meantime, I still have to write letters to be able to contact friends." Also, all the areas you have mentioned in the sentence before this implies that they are being used frequently, so it is redundant (= repeating something already said)
and they're still trying to develop it as good as possible to be used. They also describe the most uses of ICTs are in schools and universities. [/color]
Follow straight on from the sentence above :
..and urban areas. However, it is schools and universities that are currently the major uses of ICTs.

And hopefully, the development would be great as we do.
Your meaning is not clear to me. It suggests, the progress in development of ICTs overseas is hopefully as great as in Korea.
What are you really trying to say here?

I think those sources are really good and help me a lot to understand what's the real meaning of ICTs and the uses of it between developed and developing countries as well as the development.
In my opinion, these sources are very educational and have helped me to understand far more about ICTs and its uses/(applications) worldwide.

Below are the links that I found and from took some of the good explanations and quotes.
Below are the links that I found and from which I obtained this information.

I trust you will compare your original with my suggested changes carefully, and use this to help you develop your fluency in writing English!
DL

Definetly! I will look on each specific mistake.

It really helps me a lot.

Thanks man! :up:

Thanks man! :up:
 
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