Please check my paragraph writing

[fahimaamir]

sir
please check my paragraph writing and right paragraph under my paragraph

thank you





The major focus of this work is to explain how University is developing a data warehouse application to deliver timely, accurate student information to University customers. This Thesis will benefit anyone who wishes to serve academic customers by providing a PC database environment for working with existing data. Two underlying factors led to the development of this application. A more timely method for delivering reports to University management is needed at a time when Information Services (IS) staffs resources are diminish. The server-based Student Information System presents information on an individual student basis; whereas, University often needs to view student information in an aggregate form by university, department, degrees, semester, course, or advisor. This application is designed to empower the customer to design and create reports and queries based on their individual needs with the ultimate outcome being an improved service to students.

 

[David L.]

to explain how University is developing

how this University
or
how universities are

Two underlying factors led to the development of this application
It is difficult to distinguish what these two distinct factors are from what comes next. Perhaps you could write,
Firstly, the need for a more timely..
Secondly,

whereas, the University often needs

on their individual needs, with the ultimate outcome being..

Note re 'reports to University management'
We do write eg he reports directly to management ( no definite article) and so I wouldn't put one here, as opposed to other places I've indicated.
Your command of English and fluency in writing is very impressive!

 

[fahimaamir]

thank you for your reply

1.
sir i replace as per your given idea

how universities are developing


2.
sir if i replace

Two important factors are the development of this application.

with

Two underlying factors led to the development of this application

what your suggestion

3.

'reports to University management'

Sir which article I use here
can you give me idea
write any sample please

thank you

 

[David L.]

Replace :Two important factors are the development of this application.
with
Two underlying factors led to the development of this application

What is your suggestion?
On second reading, I agree with you - I don't like 'important' in this sentence!
The reason I changed 'underlying': because of my particular professional training perhaps, this word suggests factors and reasons not readily apparent. For example, take a piece of behaviour like a man buying a red sports car. OK. So he bought a new car, and it happened to be red, and a sports car. But an underlying reason for his choice might be, he is starting to feeling old, that his youth is past, and that by buying a sporty car, he might still seem to people as 'young' and 'with it'.
From what you write, it was not really 'underlying factors' , but 'two main reasons why' it was developed.
Another suggestion then:

Two key factors prompted the development of this application.

If you prefer 'underlying', I doubt if most people would consider it an odd use in this context by any means.

A more timely method for delivering reports to University management is needed
I now gather that this software is to be sold to as many universities as possible, so we are not talking about one university. (I thought you might be writing a report to the management of the university where you work).
A more timely method for delivering reports to Management at universities is needed.
(the use of a capital letter for 'management' raises this from the ordinary use/meaning of the word, into more of a proper name. Compare:
'mathematics' versus 'Mathematics Department'

 

[fahimaamir]

now sir you see

The major focus of this work is to explain how universities are developing a data warehouse application to deliver timely, accurate student information to their customers. This Thesis will benefit anyone who wishes to serve academic customers by providing a PC database environment for working with existing data. Two underlying factors led to the development of this application. A more timely method for delivering reports to Management at universities is needed at a time when Information Services (IS) staffs resources are diminish. The server-based Student Information System presents information on an individual student basis; whereas, University often needs to view student information in an aggregate form by university, department, degrees, semester, course, or advisor. This application is designed to empower the customer to design and create reports and queries based on their individual needs, with the ultimate outcome being an improved service to students.

if you give any other suggestion please write blow

thank


aamir

 

[susiedqq]

IS THIS A PROPOSAL? IF SO, I SUGGEST:


The major focus of this work is to explain how universities will be able to develop a data warehouse application to deliver timely, accurate student information to their customers. This Thesis will benefit anyone who wishes to serve academic customers by providing a PC database environment for working with existing data. Two underlying factors led to the development of this application. (1) A more timely method for delivering reports to Management at universities was needed as Information Services (IS) staff resources started to diminish. (2) The server-based Student Information System presented information on an individual student basis; whereas, University now need to view student information in an aggregate form by university, department, degrees, semester, course, or advisor. This application is designed to empower the customer to design and create reports and queries based on the University's individual needs, with the ultimate outcome resulting in improved services to its students.

 

[fahimaamir]

sir
Please check these material also an correct.
No check code check only my description that I wrote
1.)

Table
Table is a set of data elements that is organized in row and column the columns. The columns are identified by name is called field, and the row are identified by value appearing in particulars column subset is call record. Every tables link with each other by candidate key.

Create Degreedim table


This flowing code create DEGREEDIM table that saved the department and degree information

CODE :

CREATE TABLE DEGREEDIM( "DEGDEPT" VARCHAR2(99 BYTE), "DEGSNO" NUMBER NOT NULL ENABLE, "DEGNAME" VARCHAR2(99 BYTE),


******************************

2.)

Constraint
Constraint are table attribute used to define rules on the type of data value allowed within specified column by enforcing these rules within the database, you restrict to a user against incorrect data being added to the database.

********************
3.)

Sequence
A sequence is an object in oracle that is use to generate a number sequence, that sequence provide the unique number for primary key


MDEG SequenceThis flowing code generate the unique number sequencecodeREM START MFAFORBI MDEGCREATE SEQUENCE "MFAFORBI"."MDEG" MINVALUE 1 MAXVALUE 999999999999999999999999999 INCREMENT BY 1 START WITH 41 CACHE 20 NOORDER NOCYCLE ;REM END MFAFORBI MDEG


*********************************
4.)

Trigger
Trigger is special kind of stored procedure that execute automatically, when a user attempt the specified insertion, update, or delete statement.
There are two type of trigger.

• Before (run before table affection)
• After (run after table affection)

Create DTTR Trigger

This flowing code gets a unique number from Mdeg sequence that use as primary key in DEGREEDIM table.

CODE :

CREATE OR REPLACE TRIGGER "MFAFORBI"."DTTR" BEFORE INSERT ON DEGREEDIM FOR EACH ROW BEGINSELECT MDEG.NEXTVAL INTO :NEW.DEGSNO FROM DUAL;END;





thank you


aamir