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please check my posts...

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amit sharma

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Joined
Sep 12, 2006
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Please check these pieces which I have written for my blog....[grammatically, flow, sentence structure, usage of words etc.]...

It's for the first time I am writing and I want it to be as good as possible.
Thanks.....


Now let me be honest, I was much shocked when I got to hear Mr. Asif Ali Zardari saying that Ms. Bhutto wanted her son to lead the party in her absence [according to her will] and even more surprising was that PPP quite sincerely made a 19 year old the president of a national party [Which is supposed to be the biggest political party in Pakistan]. It’s quite ludicrous that the leaders of Pakistan, who do not forget to mention their “Mission Democracy” at every chance given, do not practice it within their party.

Now I do not have anything against the slain leader but it really horrifies me that the so-called leaders of democracy themselves were/are promoting dynasties and nepotism.I mean a young boy who has hardly attained the age of 19 will lead a national party [somebody please pinch me]. The right course of action would have been to elect [and if that is not possible] or anoint a senior leader through consensus.

I do know that Pakistan people’s party came into existence on the name and the sweat and blood of the Bhutto family and the family has made big sacrifices for party. In fact Mr. Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, both of his sons and now even Ms. Benazir Bhutto has given their lives for the party. The party owes a lot to Bhutto family but at least now it could have treaded the path of democracy.

Moreover, the enraged comments of Mr. Mumtaz Bhutto [cousin of Mr. Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and co-founder of PPP] were equally surprising, “Bilawal is not a Bhutto so he can not lead the party”. Now, Mr. Bhutto has no objection that an inexperienced lad is being made the president of PPP; rather he is concerned that he is not a “Bhutto”. It’s ironical that even in 21st century; we could not get rid of hidebound people who promote feudalism and dynasties rather than democracy. Tell me, Mr. Mumtaz, what is your bigger concern, establishing Democracy in Pakistan or the surname of the leader of PPP.

Let me clear it’s not that I am against Pakistan People’s party or Ms. Benazir Bhutto or Pakistan for that matter. Even in India political dynasties have flourished for long and the Nehru-Gandhi family is the biggest example of it. Ms. Indira Gandhi and Mr. Rajiv Gandhi exemplified dynastic nature of Indian national Congress. Subsequently Ms. Sonia Gandhi was made Congress’ president just because she was the wife of slain Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi and daughter-in-law of Ms. Indira Gandhi. Moreover, Mr. Rahul Gandhi has also been made general secretary of AICC and also being groomed to handle bigger designations within the party or the Government. Now, the party which was the most prominent contributor in Indian liberation movement, the party which gave us a number of great political leaders to be proud of and the party which has ruled India for almost 50 years could not even ensure democracy within the party. :( :(

Now I am not suspecting the caliber of any of these leaders [or the coming ones]. The only disquietude of mine is “how democratic our political parties are”. Let us hope the emaciated chances, of Pakistan getting a democratic rule get better. And Pakistan’s soon to be held elections [at least Musharraf sahib says they will] be fruitful. Amen
 

Anglika

No Longer With Us
Joined
Oct 19, 2006
Member Type
Other
Please check these pieces which I have written for my blog....[grammatically, flow, sentence structure, usage of words etc.]...

It's for the first time I am writing and I want it to be as good as possible.
Thanks.....


Now let me be honest, I was much shocked when I got to hear [heard] Mr. Asif Ali Zardari saying that Ms. Bhutto wanted her son to lead the party in her absence [according to her will] and even more surprising was that PPP quite sincerely made a 19 year old the president of a national party [Which is supposed to be the biggest political party in Pakistan]. It’s quite ludicrous that the leaders of Pakistan, who do not forget to mention their “Mission Democracy” at every chance given, do not practice it within their party.

Now I do not have anything against the slain leader but it really horrifies me that the so-called leaders of democracy themselves were/are promoting dynasties and nepotism.I mean, a young boy who has hardly attained the age of 19 will lead a national party [somebody please pinch me]. The right course of action would have been to elect [and if that is not possible anoint [to appoint]] a senior leader through consensus.

I do know that Pakistan People’s Party came into existence on the name and the sweat and blood of the Bhutto family and the family has made big sacrifices for the party. In fact Mr. Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, both of his sons and now even Ms. Benazir Bhutto have given their lives for the party. The party owes a lot to the Bhutto family but at least now it could have trod the path of democracy.

Moreover, the enraged comments of Mr. Mumtaz Bhutto [cousin of Mr. Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and co-founder of PPP] were equally surprising: “Bilawal is not a Bhutto so he cannot lead the party”. Now, Mr. Bhutto has no objection that an inexperienced lad is being made the president of PPP; rather he is concerned that he is not a “Bhutto”. It’s ironical that even in 21st century we are not able to get rid of hidebound people who promote feudalism and dynasties rather than democracy. Tell me, Mr. Mumtaz, what is your bigger concern - establishing Democracy in Pakistan or the surname of the leader of PPP?

Let me be clear - it’s not that I am against Pakistan People’s Party or Ms. Benazir Bhutto or Pakistan for that matter. Even in India political dynasties have flourished for long and the Nehru-Gandhi family is the biggest example of it. Ms. Indira Gandhi and Mr. Rajiv Gandhi exemplified dynastic nature of Indian National Congress. Subsequently Ms. Sonia Gandhi was made Congress president just because she was the wife of slain Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi and daughter-in-law of Ms. Indira Gandhi. Moreover, Mr. Rahul Gandhi has been made general secretary of AICC and also is being groomed to handle bigger designations within the party or the Government. Now, the party which was the most prominent contributor in Indian liberation movement, the party which gave us a number of great political leaders to be proud of and the party which has ruled India for almost 50 years could not even ensure democracy within the party. :( :(

I am not suspecting the caliber of any of these leaders [or the coming ones]. The only disquietude of mine is “how democratic our political parties are”. Let us hope the emaciated [slim] chances of Pakistan getting a democratic rule get better. And Pakistan’s soon-to-be-held elections [at least Musharraf sahib says they will] be fruitful. Amen


I've made some changes.
 

RonBee

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Feb 9, 2003
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American English
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United States
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United States
Now let me be honest, I was much shocked when I got to hear Mr. Asif Ali Zardari saying that Ms. Bhutto wanted her son to lead the party in her absence [according to her will] and even more surprising was that PPP quite sincerely made a 19 year old the president of a national party [Which is supposed to be the biggest political party in Pakistan].
Try:
Now let me be honest. I was very shocked when I heard Mr. Asif Ali Zardari say that Ms. Bhutto wanted her son to lead the party in her absence [according to her will] and even more surprising was that PPP quite seriously made a 19 year old the president of a national party [Which is supposed to be the biggest political party in Pakistan].
:)
 
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