[Essay] Please correct the essay

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mgn_v

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I would like to know that any vocabulary can be replace the words, which can make the more value to the essay. Please review and suggest the areas to improve.

Question:

Some people believe that the best time for a person to learn a new language is when he/she is a child. Others feel adults learn languages better and faster than children.
Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Answer :
All over the world, people are more interested to learn the new language. Some people believe that the right time for a person to learn non-native language is when he/she is a child. Others believe adult will learn the languages better and faster than children. I believe that childhood is the best time.

Children can learn the new language easily. Initially, it would be tough time for them, but over the period of time, they get adopted. For example, children go to school at 4 or 5 or 6. They grasp the things slowly and maintain the pace in their early age, and then the grasping power will increase more after the regular practice. For pre-kindergarten, teacher teaches the Alphabets and the numbers which will store in the mind. When you see the alphabet or number after a year also, automatically the vision reads the symbol and sends the signal to mind where the symbol gets interpreted with alphabet or number. Foundation would be strong, when you learn a new language in the childhood.

Adults can learn the new language faster than child, but they reluctant to learn the basics. Since the learning period is short, they may miss the core (example grammar) part of the language. For example, learning the English language between the adult and children differs vastly. Children start slow and study, where they learn the basics step-by-step and move ahead. But, adults start the learning faster and skip the basics. Adults may apply the learning techniques and comparative study.

Adults learning faster than children, but children make a huge difference using their learning skills. I conclude that the childhood is the right time to learn new language.
 

Raymott

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I would like to know that any vocabulary can be replace the words, which can make the more value to the essay. Please review and suggest the areas to improve.

Question:

Some people believe that the best time for a person to learn a new language is when he/she is a child. Others feel adults learn languages better and faster than children.
Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Answer :
All over the world, people are [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] interested [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] in learning a new language.

Some people believe that the right time for people to learn a non-native language is when they are children.
[I give this alternative to illustrate how to avoid the he/she problem. What you wrote was not wrong, but can get annoying if it's too frequent]
Others believe adults will learn a language[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] better and faster than children.
[All of this is simply a copy of the question, so it doesn't count. Only the first and last sentence of the introduction are yours.]
I believe that childhood is the best time.

Children can learn a new language easily. Initially, it would be a tough time for them, but over the period of time, they [STRIKE]get [/STRIKE] adapt. For example, children [STRIKE]go to[/STRIKE] begin school at between 4 and 6 years. They grasp [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] things slowly and maintain the pace in their early age. Then their grasping [learning?] power will increase more after [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] regular practice. For pre-kindergarten, the teacher teaches the Alphabet[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] and the numbers which will be stored in the mind. When they see the alphabet or number after a year [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE], automatically the vision reads the symbol and sends the signal to the brain [STRIKE]mind[/STRIKE] where the symbol gets interpreted with alphabet or number. Foundation would be strong, when [STRIKE]you learn[/STRIKE] a new language is learned in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] childhood.

Adults can learn a new language faster than a child, but they are reluctant to learn the basics. Since the learning period is short, they may miss the core (for example, grammar) part of the language. For example, learning the English language between the adult and children differs vastly. Children start slowly and [STRIKE]study, where they[/STRIKE] learn the basics step-by-step and move ahead. But many adults start the learning faster and skip the basics. Adults may apply the learning techniques and comparative study.[?]

Adults learn[STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] faster than children, but children make a huge difference using their learning skills. I conclude that [STRIKE]the [/STRIKE]childhood is the right time to learn new language.
You need a lot of work on articles "a, the", and more care with verb endings.
 

mgn_v

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Joined
Jun 15, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
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India
Current Location
India
Adults may apply the learning techniques and comparative study.[?]

Adults may apply the learning techniques and comparative study, while learning a new language.
 
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