Please edit my article

[ramanji]

We set off to Talakona by bike. It is around 76Km from Tirupati. Though I stayed in Chittoor Dt during my engineering, some how I missed visiting this famous waterfall destination. Last weekend, I was glad that I visited this place in the afternoon. To every nature lover, it may be clear that nature is at its best in the morning. You may wonder what makes one to spend time amidst nature early in the morning. Birds twitter to welcome sun rise and to have the feel of freshness in the morning. Though it is late in the morning while we were on the way to Talakona, as we moved through Tirupati National Park which one should cross before going to Talakona, we were mesmerized by the twittering cries of birds and the shades of blossomed trees on either side of the road. I went mad as I was on alert and sensed the smell of paddy crop at one village.On arriving at Talakona, we had the darshan of Lord Shiva at Talakona.The Shiva linga has three sparkling stone-studded namas . Luckily, there is no much flow of devotees .So I had a close look at the Shiv lingam. After having darshan, we went to see some giant trees. The trees in the premises reminded me of the huge tress at Mahanadhi
On our way to waterfall location, there is a path on the left side. As we took that path, we came across a narrow lane with big trees on either side and the trees have deep roots in the hillocks. At one location, I was dumbfounded to see the roots clearly spread across the rocks. The path is just a passage to placid ambience. As I went ahead, I found a waterfall. There are two big rocks with one rock in between. Behind these rocks ,a small waterfall is present. As I stepped into water, I felt the coolness of crystal clear water. As I kept gazing at the bottom of the waters, I could clearly see the stones and peepal leaves . I asked my pal to experience the beauty beneath the waters. As he came , he asked me to see the swimming fish. No sooner had I seen them than they started biting my foot. I simply let them do it.

After some time, we saw some path nearby the pond and I started ascending a hill to discover the beauty of boulders on the hill opposite .All of a sudden, drizzle poured and I descended the hill carefully and then I sat on a twig only to see cube shaped rocks .
I wonder one needs utmost concentration to see every wonderful creation especially when we are in the forest. A person has to simply move around without any preoccupied mind to experience ecstasy in the realm of flora and fauna.


Our next stop is to see the biggest attraction of Talakona i.e; waterfall from a big mountain. Unfortunately, we could not go to a place at half of the mountain to experience the potential force of heavy waterfall. We decided to stay at the foot of the hill and I bathed in the pond to my content and I found a small waterfall nearby and let my body stand beneath it to feel the force of water at different places of my body and I could not forget this natural bath.

As I was moving away from waterfall location, I saw on old woman who played music on her mrudangam-like instrument.
A kid approached her to dance in tune with music. The kid’s brother joined him to dance. It is the turn of their parents to simply witness the happiness of kids in dancing. Not to mention, the old woman was all smiles and she got some rupees at the end. Small joys of life are to be shared as and when we get a chance.

As our return way, I enjoyed the fullness of blossomed trees and the sight of streams. Next time, when I go there, I make it a point to reach there by 7:00 AM to listen to the music of birds in the company of trees. Jungle bells at Talakona thrill you only if you are alert .

 

[David L.]

We set off by bike to Talakona, about 76Km from Tirupati. Though I stayed in Chittoor Dt during my engineering studies,
(choose the right noun here)

somehow I missed visiting this famous waterfall.
destination: use if Talakona is a town, and the waterfall is nearby. It Talakona is the waterfall itself, then omit 'destination'


Last weekend, I was glad that I visited this place in the afternoon.
You say you were glad your visit was in the afternoon, then proceed to extol the magnificence of the morning! Where does the relief that your visit was in the afternoon (implying, thank God we didn't go in the morning) come into it?

To every nature lover, it may be clear that nature is at its best in the morning. You may wonder what makes one to spend time amidst nature early in the morning.
So - you are presuming I AM NOT A NATURE LOVER!!(lol) It is clear to nature lovers, but 'you' (I) may be wondering...because of course, you don't know what we nature lovers know. So.....Perhaps these two sentences need rethinking.


Birds twitter to welcome sunrise and there is a feeling of freshness about the morning.


Though it was late in the morning when we were on the way to Talakona, as we moved through Tirupati National Park, which we had to cross before going to Talakona, we were mesmerized by the twittering (-omit. You have used this word in the previous sentence, and 'a twitter' and 'a bird cry' are very different ...ou can't have a twitteering cries..) cries of birds and the shady trees in full blossom on either side of the road.
Do you mean here that even though it was late in the morning, the birds were still twittering etc just like they do in early morning?? these sentences need restructuring I think.

I went mad as I was on alert and sensed the smell of paddy crop at one village.
I'm not sure exactly what you mean. I think you mean you felt a surge of excitement ...but 'on alert' ? - can you explain this in simple words, as I can't grasp how this relates to the smell of paddy crops?

On arriving at Talakona, we found/visited/viewed (you need some verb here - it would be too colloquial and gushy to say, 'we just had to' see)
the darshan of Lord Shiva (at Talakona-omit).
The Shiva linga has three sparkling stone-studded namas . Luckily, there was not a great flood of devotees, so I was able to have a close look at the Shiv lingam. After having darshan, we went to see some giant trees on the premises that reminded me of those at Mahanadhi
On our way to the waterfall (location-omit), there was a path off to the left. As we took that path, we came across a narrow lane with large/huge trees on either side,with deep roots into the hillocks. At one spot, I was dumbfounded to see the roots clearly spread across the rocks. The path had

an ambience of pure tranquility. As I went ahead, I found the waterfall. There are two big rocks with one rock in between. Behind these rocks lay a smaller waterfall . I stepped into the coolness of its crystal clear water.

As I gazed into the waters, I could see clearly the stones and peepal leaves lying on the bottom.

I called to my pal to experience the beauty beneath the waters (that I had discovered).

As he came over, he asked me to see the swimming fish. - there is a jump here. He's coming over to see what you want him to show him, and then he's showing you fish. Where are they? Are they in the same water but you hadn't seen them??

No sooner had I caught sight of them than they started biting/nipping at my feet. I simply let them do it.

After some time, we happened to see a path near the pond and as I followed it, I started ascending a hill, only to discover the beauty of some boulders on the hill opposite. All of a sudden,

drizzle poured
Sorry. drizzle drizzles and rain pours! 'drizzle' = very light rain falling in very fine drops
so I descended the hill carefully. There, I sat on a

twig : = a slender woody shoot growing from a branch or stem of a tree. You could pick it up with two fingers. I think you mean 'log'

only then to see cube-shaped rocks .
I wonder at how much one needs utmost concentration in order to see all the wonder of creation, especially (when we are-omit) in the forest.
The problem here is that we have used 'wonder' twice - in the original, as 'wonder' and 'wonderful'. How about:


I was caught by surprise to realize just how much one needs utmost concentration to really appreciate all the wonder of creation, especially (when we are-omit) in the forest.

A person has simply to wander, free of mind, to experience joy in the realm of nature.

Our next stop was to see the biggest attraction of Talakona, which means 'waterfall from a big mountain'. Unfortunately, we could not go to the place where, at half way up the mountain, the real force of the waterfall could be experienced. We decided to stay at the foot of the hill; and I bathed contentedly in the pond. I chanced upon s mall waterfall nearby and stood, swaying gently beneath it, letting the force of the water cascade upon each part of my body. ( and I could not forget this natural bath. -omit)

As I was moving away from the waterfall (location-omit), I noticed on old woman playing music on her mrudangam-like instrument.
A young child approached her to dance in tune with the music. His brother joined in the dance as their parents gazed, simple witness to the happiness of children dancing. The old woman too was all smiles, her efforts rewarded with rupees. Small joys of life are to be shared as chance brings them.

On our homeward way, I enjoyed the fullness of the blossomed trees, and the sight of streams. When next I return, however, I will be sure to reach there by 7:00 a.m. to listen to the music of birds in the company of trees. Jungle bells at Talakona thrill only the perceptive .

Note:
1. It can be difficult to find the appropriate expressions to use, when in prose, we wax lyrical (=enthuse) about nature. I found it difficult as it's not really my style, so don't be discouraged by the red - they are just suggestions, alternative ways you could express these thoughts.
2. Watch. You tend to change tense when it is not required - you are writing in the past tense but occasionally slip and used the present tense eg I saw...I see
3. Always think whenever you use a NOUN - what definite or indefinite article do I use, 'a' or 'the'? It is far less frequent that no article is required.