Please edit my writings

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bmo

Senior Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2003
Dear Teachers:

Could you critique my "corrections" of someone else's writings?

" I am in trouble, how can I speak English well? I think my problems are that I am always confused, and that I am not in an environment where I can practice the language. I feel like I am still at the same level as years ago. Needless to say I am very disappointed and at times I feel helpless.

Although I have tried watching movies, reading and listening to music, all I understood are some key words, not an entire story, so these methods are not helping me either. In addition, I have used "teaching aids" to help me remember words, phrases, and grammar rules so I could use them later in speeches, but I forgot them very fast. I would say that although I have the determination, I just don't have good study skills. I don't read well at all.

What can I do? Could someone suggest or recommend something so that someday I can speak English well, without having to go abroad to study? I hope someone can help or make corrections of my writings. "

Thanks.

BMO
 

RonBee

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I am in trouble, how can I speak English well? I think my problems are that I am always confused, and that I am not in an environment where I can practice the language. I feel like I am still at the same level as years ago. Needless to say I am very disappointed and at times I feel helpless.

The only thing I would change there is some punctuation. Use a period (full stop) instead of a comma after trouble (in the first sentence). Delete the comma in the second sentence. In the third sentence, put a comma after say.

(Say "someone else's writing" unless you are talking about books or stories that person has produced.)

:)

Although I have tried watching movies, reading and listening to music, all I understood are some key words, not an entire story, so these methods are not helping me either. In addition, I have used "teaching aids" to help me remember words, phrases, and grammar rules so I could use them later in speeches, but I forgot them very fast. I would say that although I have the determination, I just don't have good study skills. I don't read well at all.

I would change only a couple of things there. In the second sentence, change speeches toconversation and change forgot to forget. (For something that happens on a continuing basis use the base form. Example: "I often forget things.")

:)

What can I do? Could someone suggest or recommend something so that someday I can speak English well, without having to go abroad to study? I hope someone can help or make corrections of my writings. "

Just a couple of changes here. Try:
  • What can I do? Could someone suggest or recommend something so that someday I can speak English well without having to go abroad to study? I hope someone can help or make corrections to my writing.

You did well.

:D
 
C

Chizu

Guest
To me, you're a very well writer!!! i hope someday i can write as good as you.
 

bmo

Senior Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2003
Thanks for the compliment Chizu. I have plenty of help from teachers here.

BMO
 

RonBee

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Feb 9, 2003
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Other
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Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
To me, you're a very well writer!!! i hope someday i can write as good as you.

Chizu, switch well and good there and that is just right. (Also, capitalize your I's.)

:wink:
 

RonBee

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American English
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United States
Current Location
United States
You're welcome.

:D
 
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