Please edit my writings

[bmo]

Dear Teachers:

Could you critique my "corrections" of someone else's writings?

" I am in trouble, how can I speak English well? I think my problems are that I am always confused, and that I am not in an environment where I can practice the language. I feel like I am still at the same level as years ago. Needless to say I am very disappointed and at times I feel helpless.

Although I have tried watching movies, reading and listening to music, all I understood are some key words, not an entire story, so these methods are not helping me either. In addition, I have used "teaching aids" to help me remember words, phrases, and grammar rules so I could use them later in speeches, but I forgot them very fast. I would say that although I have the determination, I just don't have good study skills. I don't read well at all.

What can I do? Could someone suggest or recommend something so that someday I can speak English well, without having to go abroad to study? I hope someone can help or make corrections of my writings. "

Thanks.

BMO

 

[RonBee]

I am in trouble, how can I speak English well? I think my problems are that I am always confused, and that I am not in an environment where I can practice the language. I feel like I am still at the same level as years ago. Needless to say I am very disappointed and at times I feel helpless.

The only thing I would change there is some punctuation. Use a period (full stop) instead of a comma after trouble (in the first sentence). Delete the comma in the second sentence. In the third sentence, put a comma after say.

(Say "someone else's writing" unless you are talking about books or stories that person has produced.)

Although I have tried watching movies, reading and listening to music, all I understood are some key words, not an entire story, so these methods are not helping me either. In addition, I have used "teaching aids" to help me remember words, phrases, and grammar rules so I could use them later in speeches, but I forgot them very fast. I would say that although I have the determination, I just don't have good study skills. I don't read well at all.

I would change only a couple of things there. In the second sentence, change speeches toconversation and change forgot to forget. (For something that happens on a continuing basis use the base form. Example: "I often forget things.")

What can I do? Could someone suggest or recommend something so that someday I can speak English well, without having to go abroad to study? I hope someone can help or make corrections of my writings. "

Just a couple of changes here. Try:

• What can I do? Could someone suggest or recommend something so that someday I can speak English well without having to go abroad to study? I hope someone can help or make corrections to my writing.

You did well.

 

[Chizu]

To me, you're a very well writer!!! i hope someday i can write as good as you.

 

[bmo]

Thanks for the compliment Chizu. I have plenty of help from teachers here.

BMO

 

[RonBee]

To me, you're a very well writer!!! i hope someday i can write as good as you.

Chizu, switch well and good there and that is just right. (Also, capitalize your I's.)

:wink:

 

[Chizu]

thanks for correcting me, Ronbee.

 

[RonBee]

You're welcome.