Please help me to remend my resume and coverting letter

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Anonymous

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Resume

Milky Lu

402, No.5, Lane 988, MeiZhou Road,
YangPu District, Shanghai, China.
(021)55086072
milky429@163.com

OBJECTIVE
Seeking a sales assistant in a company.

SUMMARY OF QULIFICATIONS
Interpersonal Communication
Computer skill: Yongyou ERP-Finanical fraction, Microsoft Office, Windows XP Professional, Visual Basic 6.0, Dreamwave/Fireworks/Flash, Visual Foxpro 6.0.
Language : Fluency in English Writing/Speaking/Listening, Native Shanghainess and Chinese Speaker, some French,
CET 4
Key leadership role at Shanghai University


EDUCATION
Shanghai University JiaDing, Shanghai
Post-Diploma of Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce(SILC) Shanghai University, major in International Economics and Trade, September 2003 to present.

Shanghai University JiaDing, Shanghai
Diploma of Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce(SILC) Shanghai University, major in International Trade, September 2000 to July 2003. GAP 3.0

Additional Course and skills
Alliance Fransaise de Shanghai Hongkou, Shanghai
Studying in primary French, June 2001 to July 2001.

Shanghai University Baoshan, Shanghai
Studying in intermediate computer skill, April 2002 to July 2002.

EXPERIENCE
Hutai branch bank Shanghai, China
Credit department Assistant in Shanghai Bank, Responsible for account login and update, packing up the files and document, communication with customers. Summer 2002.

China Shipping International Trading Co., Ltd. Shanghai, China
Assistant in Ship Building and Trading Department, Responsible for opening the credit letter, typing some document such as claim letter and requirement of business letter. Summer 2004.


Covering letter

Dear Mr employer
I am writing in response to your advertisement in the October edition of Career Post for recent graduates to take up positions as sales assistants. I enclose my CV for your consideration.

I first became interested in sales assistant. Because I am major in international economics and trade, and your company has the better reputation in the China market. I felt that this work would be an ideal way to combine my skills, knowledge and interests in business, problem solving and working with people.

As you will see from my CV, I am currently studying for a Post-Diploma of Sydney Institute of Language and Commerce (SILC) at Shanghai University, but I had twice experiences as an assistant. First, I had two months’ work experience as an assistant of credit department in Hutai branch Bank of Shanghai Bank. This work involved responsibility for account login and update, packing up the files and document, communication with customers. Second, during the summer holiday I worked for the Ship Building and Trading Department in China Shipping International Trading Co., Ltd. I was responsible for opening the credit letter and typing some document such as claim letter and requirement of business letter. Although I haven’t half a year’s work experience as a sale assistant, I believe the skills and knowledge about international trading will be a good grounding for a career.

I can be available for interview at any time and look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely


Milky Lu (Miss)
 
M

Milky_lu

Guest
Re: Please help me to amend my resume and coverting letter

Sorry :cry: , I use the guest to submit my resume and covering letter.

And then I make two mistakes of spelling.

not 'remend', is 'amend' :oops:

not ' coverting', is 'covering'. :oops:
 

Tdol

Editor, UsingEnglish.com
Staff member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
Japan
Dear Mr employer

Dear Sir or Madam,
;-)
 

Tdol

Editor, UsingEnglish.com
Staff member
Joined
Nov 13, 2002
Member Type
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
Japan
The opening is good,but this sentence needs some work:
I first became interested in sales assistant. Because I am major in international economics and trade, and your company has the better reputation in the China market. I

The first sentence is incomplete- do you mean to join the two?

I first became interested in sales assistant because my major is international economics and trade


and your company has the better reputation in the China market

'better' is wrong; surely, it should be 'best', or 'finest'? ;-)
 

jake2778

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2006
Hello

I'm a young American and I live and work in Jiading, Shanghai. I need a Chinese tutor to improve my Chinese language skills. Please send me an email if you are interested. I need to improve..........

Thanks,
Jake
 
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