please help me!

[felliot]

Hello everybody,
I have to send as soon as possible this mail and I need to know if it is correct.
Could you please please please please correct it?
THANKs A LOT!!!!

"To the kind attention of xx,
Dear Sir xx,
My name is xx, I am an Italian undergraduate student at the University of xx.
I have won the International Scholarship that gives financial aid and allows Italian students of rm to study a semester at your university , according to the bilateral agreement that your university has signed with university of rm.
I am writing you to ask for informations.
The Scholarship Department of Rm told me that I have to contact you to refine/complete the procedure of acceptance and registration at your university.

Could you please tell me how can I do this?
What document I have to fill, concerning this bilateral agreement?

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Best regards,"

 

[Liudmila777]

Hi. English is not my native language, but if you are still interested I would slightly amend your letter:

Dear Sir/Madam (if you don't know them) or
Dear Mr.Wilson (or whatever his/her surname is, if you know it)

I am writing to ask for some information regarding acceptance into University of xxxx. The Scholarship Department of Rome told me that I have to contact you.

My name is xxxx. I am an Italian undergraduate student of xxxx. I have won the International Scholarship which provides financial aid for students of Rome. Italian students can study a semester at your university according the bilateral agreement.

I would be grateful if you could help me and explain in more details what documents I have to fill in and what is the general procedure.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully (if you don't know them)
Yours sincerely (if you know them)



Your Name and Surname

 

[billmcd]

Looks good. A few minor suggestions. Good luck.

"To the kind attention of xx,
Dear Sir xx,
My name is xx, I am an Italian undergraduate student at the University of xx.
I have won the International Scholarship that gives financial aid and allows Italian students of rm to study a semester at your university , according to the bilateral agreement that your university has signed with University of rm.
[STRIKE]I am writing you to ask for information[/STRIKE]The Scholarship Department of Rm [STRIKE]told me [/STRIKE]advised that I [STRIKE]have to [/STRIKE]contact you to refine/complete the procedure of acceptance and registration at your university.

Could you please tell me how [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] I might do this?
What document(s) [STRIKE]I have to fill[/STRIKE]are required for me to complete and submit concerning this bilateral agreement?

Thank you for your time and consideration.

 

[felliot]

Thank you very much for your help!