please help with writing

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jkl

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Joined
Nov 28, 2007
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Student or Learner
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Portuguese
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Canada
Current Location
Canada
Please correct the following letter. Thanks.


Dear Nelson,

This is to inform you that today March 03,at arround 7:00 pm one man fell down from the outside stairs while he was going out from our store. One gentelman ran to the information desk and told me about this incident. Rightaway I went outside and saw the man was laying on the stairs. He was unable to stand up and complained that he was in so much pain. Finally I called for an ambulance and he was taken to the emergency. Notice all the stairs were covered by snow and unsalted.

Thank you very much for your attention regarding this incident.

Monika
 

Anglika

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Joined
Oct 19, 2006
Member Type
Other
Please correct the following letter. Thanks.


Dear Nelson,

This is to inform you that today March 03,at around 7:00 pm one a man fell down from the [down the] outside stairs while he was going out from [leaving] our store. One gentleman ran to the information desk and told me about this incident. Rightaway [Immediately]I went outside and saw the man was laying [lying] on the stairs. He was unable to stand up and complained that he was in so much pain. Finally I called for an ambulance and he was taken to the emergency [hospital emergency unit]. Notice [Please note that/I noted that] all the stairs were covered by snow and unsalted.

Thank you very much for your attention regarding this incident.

Monika
.
 
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