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hi everybody
I'm a new memer in this site
hope it will help me to improve my English Languag
I want u to help me and tell me where are the mistakes in the following poem
and correct them for me

ican find alover
i can find afriend
ican have security
until the better end
anyone can camfort me
with promeses again
but i don,t want some
pretty face to tell me
pretty lies
all i want is someone
to believe
honesty is such alonely word
every one is so untrue
honesty is hardly ever heard
but mostly what i need
from you

Thanx
Be Good
 

Dally

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Saudi Arabia
Current Location
Saudi Arabia
The previous thread is mine
I'm waiting for your replies
pleaze help me
 

Khansaa Saii

New member
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Member Type
English Teacher
Hello,
You may mean this in your poem.
I can t find a lover
I can t find a friend
I can t find security
Until the end of my life
No one can comfort me
with promises again
I don t want any
with false masks
to tell me lies.
All I want is someone
believe in faith and loyality.
They don t exist.
All I need is a loyal and faithful friend.
Where can I find him / her ?
 

Dally

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Saudi Arabia
Current Location
Saudi Arabia
Thank u for ur reply
but I didn't erit this poem by myself
I just red it
and put it in another forum
then I faced many criticism toward it
the members told me that there are many grammatical mistakes in it
Now I want from u to tell me where the grammatical mistakes are
and correct them to me

Thank u again
 

rewboss

Key Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2006
Member Type
English Teacher
I don't think there's a problem with the grammar -- I think it's mostly spelling.

i can find a lover
i can find a friend
i can have security
until the bitter end
anyone can comfort me
with promises again
but i don't want some
pretty face to tell me
pretty lies
all i want is someone
to believe
honesty is such a lonely word
every one is so untrue
honesty is hardly ever heard
but mostly what i need
from you

It's also usual to write a capital letter at the beginning of each line, and of course the word "I" is always spelled with a capital letter -- but in poetry, you're allowed to break some rules. Also, some punctuation might make it easier to read, but again, in poetry you can break the rules.

Being allowed to break the rules in poetry is called "poetic licence".
 

Dally

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Saudi Arabia
Current Location
Saudi Arabia
Thank u sooo much for this useful reply
I'm waiting for more replies
 

Dally

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Arabic
Home Country
Saudi Arabia
Current Location
Saudi Arabia
Question to the native speakers.....
pleaze tell me
Do u think that this poem is well written?

pleaze
tell me with a full of explanation
 
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