pleaze I need your help..I would be glad if you help me

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Dally

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Hii Everybody
I want you to highlight the grammatical mistakes or any thin wrong in the following article and correct them for me pleaze

The hardest feeling in your life is..


When you have inside of yourself..


Lots of terrible pains..


Lots of anxieties..


But you can't by any way to reveal all of your feelings..


Really it us very hard feeling..


It makes your heart more painful..


At that time..


You want to cry.


yell.


And shout..


To tell anyone what is in your heart..


Anyone..


Yes.. yes anyone..


Who love you..


Or even who dose not..


Just to feel comfortable..


And make your hard feeling less painful..


Nevertheless you can not do that yes you can not..


The people around you can not understand you..


Whatever you are giving them a perfect description..


Whatever you are being honest with them..


They will never understand you..


In contrast ,may be they will blame you by strength ..


They will upbraid you..


May be the will slap you and increase your deep pain..


On the other hand, you may find who can understand you


But if you found them, they will admonish you because of your feelings which cause your great pain


Hard feeling


When you do not find anyone who can understand you


But what you can do is just drowning in your tears sea lonely


What you can do is just talking to the bright stars at the night and tell them all of your great secrets


Or you can just holding your friendly pen


Because it is the only one that is always patient with you



I'm waiting for the answes


pleaze give me a complete answers



Thanks in advance


Best Wishes
 

susiedqq

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Is this a translation of a poem?
 

Dally

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No I just red the article and I liked the idea and wrote it in my own writing
but actually I added new ideas and changed the others
Can you pleaze tell me about the grammatical mistakes and correct them for me...?
 

Anglika

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Hii Everybody
I want you to highlight the grammatical mistakes or anything wrong in the following article and correct them for me please
The hardest feeling in your life is
When you have inside of yourself
Lots of terrible pains,
Lots of anxieties,
But you can't in any way reveal all of your feelings.
Really it is a very hard feeling.
It makes your heart more painful..
At that time
You want to cry,
yell,
And shout
To tell anyone what is in your heart.
Anyone...
Yes.. yes... anyone
Who loves you
Or even who does not,
Just to feel comfortable
And make your hard feelings less painful.
Nevertheless you cannot do that - no, you cannot.
The people around you do not understand you.
Whenever you are giving them a perfect description,
Whenever you are being honest with them.,
They still do not understand you..
In contrast, maybe they will blame you strongly,
They will upbraid you.
Maybe they will slap you and increase your deep pain.
On the other hand, you may find some/someone who can understand you.
But if you found them, they will admonish you because of your feelings which cause your great pain.
Hard feeling
When you do not find anyone who can understand you.
But what you can do is just drowning in your tears sea lonelyWhat you can do is just talking to the bright stars at the night and tell them all of your great secretsBut what you can do is drown your loneliness in a sea of tears, or talk to the bright stars at night, telling them all your great secrets.
Or you can just hold your friendly pen
Because it is the only thing that is always patient with you
I'm waiting for the answers
Please give me a complete answers
Thanks in advance
Best Wishes


It reads like a poem, partly because of the way in which you have laid out the lines.

Your punctuation is weird!
 

Dally

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Thanx a lot (Anglika)
for this perfect correction
But I want to ask you a question...

What do you meane by(weird)?
Is it negative or positive?

Also, I want to ask u about my English Language
How did you find it as a target language?

Thanks again
 

Anglika

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Thanx a lot (Anglika)
for this perfect correction
But I want to ask you a question...

What do you meane by(weird)?
Is it negative or positive?

Also, I want to ask u about my English Language
How did you find it as a target language?

Thanks again

If you look at your original and then at my suggested changes, you will see that you keep using a double point [ .. ] and that there is no reason for any punctuation in many places. That's what I meant by weird.

I am not sure that I understand "target language" but your English is not too bad. It needs working on, but you have some good sentences there, very evocative and expressive.
 

Dally

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Thank you for your explanation
actually English Language is not my First Language
But I'm studing now English Language
Always I get a bad grads
really I don't know why
my (Doctors)tell me that my English is so poor
therfore I asked u about my English

By the way I will improve my English and this site will help me of course
 

Dally

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Helo
Where are you English Teachers....?

I want to know if my topic is well written or not?

give me a clear answe please
 

susiedqq

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Yes, your topic is well written. But it is written as a poem.

It is quite good, as a poem.

If you want to write it as a paragraph, you must re-write it and put all the sentences together.
 
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