Professor Maxwell was on familiar

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

Professor Maxwell was on familiar terms with his students, which was disapproved by some of his colleagues, who argued that a certain distance between professors and students is indispensable in education.
 

GoesStation

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I see two or three sentences' worth of material there.

Being on familiar terms would be disapproved of by his colleagues. With that correction, the sentence will be OK up to the second comma. I'd end it there and begin a new one.

Which was disapproved of is a heavy phrase. Can you find a more concise way to express the idea? You might want to begin Some of Professor Maxwell's colleagues disapproved....
 

Bassim

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Would the following sentence be OK?

Professor Maxwell was on familiar terms with his students, which was disliked by some of his colleagues. They argued that a certain distance between professors and students is indispensable in education.
 

GoesStation

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Professor Maxwell was on familiar terms with his students, which was disliked by some of his colleagues. They argued that a certain distance between professors and students is indispensable in education.
It's grammatically correct but rather weak in my opinion. Why is the second clause in the passive voice?

I'm going to respond to this thread with my own version of the narrative but first I'd like to see what you can come up with.
 

Bassim

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Maybe I should say this:
Professor Maxwell was on familiar terms with his students, which some of his colleagues disliked.
 

GoesStation

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I am wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

Professor Maxwell was on familiar terms with his students, which was disapproved by some of his colleagues, who argued that a certain distance between professors and students is indispensable in education.

Maybe I should say this:
Professor Maxwell was on familiar terms with his students, which some of his colleagues disliked.
That's better. Here's how I'd write the narrative:

Some of Professor Maxwell's colleagues disapproved of his excessive familiarity with his students. They argued that professors should maintain a certain social distance from their students. I left out anything about "indispensable in education" because I didn't think that added anything.
 
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