[Grammar] promote the result

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Ashiuhto

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Nov 30, 2010
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Is the following sentence acceptable?

Parents should also show consideration for kids, and compulsorily control their time on surfing the Internet, so as to promote the result of their schoolwork.
 

Raymott

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Is the following sentence acceptable?

Parents should also show consideration for kids, and compulsorily control their time on surfing the Internet, so as to promote the result of their schoolwork.

"Parents should also show consideration for their children, and [STRIKE]compulsorily[/STRIKE] control their time [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] surfing the Internet, so as to [STRIKE]promote[/STRIKE] improve the results of their schoolwork."
"Promote the result" doesn't work.
Try not to use "kids" in writing - unless it's an email to a friend.
 

tedtmc

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Jun 12, 2006
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Parents should also show consideration for their children...

Parents should also monitor their children...

not a teacher.
 
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