Proofreading

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Anonymous

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Can somebody be so kind to tell me the sentences mentioned below are correct and make sense? I'm looking for a new job as you might have guessed....

"Although working in the industry and the field of education were both interesting, I particularly appreciated the dynamic of working in the industry."
--> Where to put both? "Although BOTH working in the industry and field of education were ..."
--> "dynamic" or "dynamics" ?


"I am moreover determined to take my career one step up and am therefore looking for a challenging position with more profundity.
Thank you for having taken the time to meet me."

--> Is "profundity" correct?
--> Does this last sentence make sense?

Thanks for your help!! :D
 

Francois

Senior Member
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Jun 15, 2004
Although working in the industry and the field of education were both interesting, I particularly appreciated the dynamism of the industry.

Moreover, I am determined to further my career and am therefore looking for a challenging position.
Thank you for taking the time to meet me
---
What did you mean exactly by 'morevoer'? I suspect you wanted to say "I am all the more determined..."
This is not clear either what you meant by "profundity". The word does exist, but I don't think you can use it to qualify a position. Do you mean more responsibility, more follow-up etc.?

FRC[/quote]
 
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