question about punctuation

[KLPNO]

Hello everyone
I'd like to ask where I should put commas in the following sentence -- I put some, but not sure that I've done it correctly. The sentence is about the Company's employees working in hazardous conditions.

This aspect is also of great importance suggesting that the personnel has a complete knowledge and understanding of their rights and responsibilities on occupational safety, for example, a clear understanding to use, constantly if necessary, and correctly individual protection gear which does not eliminate the risk in the workplace but can reduce it.

And what preposition is more appropriate in such cases -- on or concerning, i.e. on occupational safety, or concerning occupational safety?

 

[susiedqq]

May I edit this?

It is important that all personnel have complete knowledge and understanding of their rights and responsibilities concerning occupational safety rules. For example, everyone should have a clear understanding of safety concepts, the need for consistency, and the correct use of individual protection gear. Knowing occupational safety rules does not eliminate all risks in the workplace, but can reduce the number of accidents greatly.

 

[KLPNO]

May I edit this?

It is important that all personnel have complete knowledge and understanding of their rights and responsibilities concerning occupational safety rules. For example, everyone should have a clear understanding of safety concepts, the need for consistency, and the correct use of individual protection gear. Knowing occupational safety rules does not eliminate all risks in the workplace, but can reduce the number of accidents greatly.

Thank you very much, susiedqq! Your editing is great!!!