[Essay] Question!

[Marsha Lin]

:?:I wrote the paragraph. Is there Coherence or Cohesion? I just can't tell them from each other.:-(



I have entered Feng Chia University for two years. I enjoy my school life very much. My favorite place in Feng Chia University is library which makes me interest in studying. I like to go there to study because of its surrounding and atmosphere. The surround there is quite, comfortable and tidy. The air there smells very comfortable. I feel pleased and absorb in the library. When I see other people be hard-working there, I always become assertive and hard-working, too.
The second place I like is the gym. The gym looks very marvelous and is a state-of-the-art. I can see many vitally people exercising there. I also feel energetic. There is a great conditioning system, so I like to go jogging there. Although it makes me sweat, I still love it.

 

[Raymott]

:?:I wrote the paragraph. Is there Coherence or Cohesion? I just can't tell them from each other.:-(

I have entered Feng Chia University for two years. I enjoy my school life very much. My favorite place in Feng Chia University is library which makes me interest in studying. I like to go there to study because of its surrounding and atmosphere. The surround there is quite, comfortable and tidy. The air there smells very comfortable. I feel pleased and absorb in the library. When I see other people be hard-working there, I always become assertive and hard-working, too.
The second place I like is the gym. The gym looks very marvelous and is a state-of-the-art. I can see many vitally people exercising there. I also feel energetic. There is a great conditioning system, so I like to go jogging there. Although it makes me sweat, I still love it.

There are a lot of grammatical errors, but it is coherent (understandable as a whole) and cohesive (it fits together logically as a paragraph).
But some dictionaries give 'cohesive' as a definition of 'coherent', so unless your teacher is insisting upon your differentiating these words, I think you can safely ignore them for now.