rewrite a sentence

[vodkatini]

Someone gave me a sentence :

The only difference actually lies in Ms Yu's inability to communicate
with any of her foreign customers in English,unlike her teenage
colleagues,who can.

I changed it to :

Unlike her collaegues in their teens, Ms Yu cannot communicate with her foreign customers in English. That is the difference.

Is it correct ???? Is the second one better than the first one ????

Many thanks

 

[Tdol]

How about:

The difference is that, unlike her colleagues in their teens, Ms Yu cannot communicate with her foreign customers in English.

You might consider using 'younger' instead of 'in their teens'. ;-)

 

[vodkatini]

Thanks a lot for your suggestions. I think they are better. Thanks again.

 

[RonBee]

Teenage colleagues is more likely to be appropriate if the person herself (or himself) is a teenager.

[Edited for spelling.]

 

[vodkatini]

I get it. Many thanks.

 

[Tdol]

Teenage colleagues is more likely to be appropriate it the person herself (or himself) is a teenager.

Good point, though I got the feeling that she was not. ;-)

 

[vodkatini]

why did you get such feeling ????

 

[Tdol]

The use of 'teenage' suggested that she is older, or that there are other colleagues who are older. It suggested to me that the younger people are the ones able to speak English. ;-)

 

[vodkatini]

thanks