Some sentences in my essay.

[o_cat]

Can you correct them for me? Many thanks!

What must be will be! Well then, what must be in my life? Sometimes I'm not believe in a word like destiny, for I had regret many things. If I hadn't do that wrong thing, the things occur to me may not like today. We can not chose how to come into the world, but we can chose whether to be diligence. We cannot chose exactly chance, but everyone will meet some chances. Only when chance comes, whether you have enough strength or not to hold it .


:?

 

[Tdol]

What must be will be!

The normal expression is 'what will be'

 

[RonBee]

Hi!

What must be will be!

• What must be must be!

Fate. Kismet. Destiny. :wink:

Well then, what must be in my life?

That's okay.

Sometimes I'm not believe in a word like destiny, for I had regret many things.

• Sometimes I don't believe in destiny, for I regret many things.

If I hadn't do that wrong thing, the things occur to me may not like today.

• If I hadn't made the wrong choices, things would be different.

Or:

• If I hadn't made some bad choices, things would be different.

We can not chose how to come into the world, but we can chose whether to be diligence.

• We cannot choose how we come into this world, but after that there are many choices we can and must make.

You might want to change that somewhat. I am sure that is more my words than yours.

We cannot chose exactly chance, but everyone will meet some chances.

• We cannot always choose what choices we have, but we will have to make choices.

(Notice the symmetry. Tdol, what's the name for that rhetorical device?)

Or:

• We cannot so much choose our opportunities as be prepared for them when they come.

Which do you think fits better?

Only when chance comes, whether you have enough strength or not to hold it .

• When opportunity comes, will you be prepared for it?

What do you think?

 

[o_cat]

Many thanks, Ron!

Quote:
We cannot chose exactly chance, but everyone will meet some chances.

We cannot always choose what choices we have, but we will have to make choices.
(Notice the symmetry. Tdol, what's the name for that rhetorical device?)
Or:
We cannot so much choose our opportunities as be prepared for them when they come.
Which do you think fits better?

I think the first one impressed my meaning. And I like this sentence better.

When opportunity comes, will you be prepared for it?

What I said here is not a question, but a presentation sentence. I mean when opportunity comes, one should prepare for it, or else, one would lose that opportunity. So, can I say this meaning in your sentence? Thank you!

 

[RonBee]

Yes, you can put that sentence as a question or as a statement, whichever you think fits better. However, you should rephrase it somewhat. Perhaps:

• Be prepared for opportunities so that when they come you can take advantage of them.

(Say: "I think the first one expressed my meaning.)

 

[o_cat]

Thank you, Ron!

 

[RonBee]

You're welcome.