Someone please help me.. Anglika too!

[jomo27]

Forget the last thread that I made. This is the new one and the right one rather than the last one. (Thanks for your understanding).

My teacher asks me to write an essay about myself. And also, my school has a website that allows students to share and show each other using our own account and I must write something in the 'About me' line.

So please check all the grammar and mistakes.
It's fine if you guys delete and put other correct words.
Thank you very much.



Well, I'm just an ordinary boy who has a been given a name Tomo. I have 2 brown eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears, 1 mouth and brown hair. I'm not quite tall and yet not short, not thin and not fat, that's why I call myself as an ordinary guy. I consider myself as a Chinese-Japanese-Indonesian and that sounds complicated or complex. And I'm just wondering why I was born and live in this world. But anyway, I have been in this world for almost 17 years. And I learn a lot within those years.

I like acting and dancing, and I think I'm good at them. I love making jokes and weird things. But People think that I'm a bit crazy or strange whenever I tell them jokes or do weird things but at least they laugh for it, and I'm glad with it. I just wanna make the situation more lively and fun. I like to do everything that is related to the arts. I think, in arts, you can show everyone your individual talents and skills. I like making new friendships with new friends as I think friends are everything. One day, I will make myself to be known and famous all over the world.
I do also like sports. I just do them for exercise and fun.

I think I can't write any more. and now it's your turn to write to me. So please don't hesitate to invite me to be your friend and give comments.







*If you guys have any ideas on putting more ideas into the essay, just tell me or write them down.

Thanks!

 

[Anglika]

I think it looks fine - lively, well put together and nicely expressed.

Minor changes:

I learn a lot I have learnt a lot

But people think


new friendships with new friends Either new friendships or new friends. To have both is tautologous.

 

[susiedqq]

Well, I'm just an ordinary dude by the name of Tomo. I have 2 brown eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears, 1 mouth and brown hair, not quite tall, yet not short, not thin and not fat. That's why I call myself as an ordinary guy. I consider myself of Chinese-Japanese-Indonesian ancestory and that can sound complicated or complex. I'm just wondering why I was born and live in this world. But anyway, I have been in this world for almost 17 years. And I have learned a lot within those years.

I like acting and dancing, and I think I'm good at them. I love making jokes and doing weird things. But other people think that I'm a bit crazy or strange whenever I tell them jokes or do weird things. But at least they laugh about it, and I'm glad. I just wanna make the situation more lively and fun. I like to do everything that is related to the arts. I think, in the arts, you can show each other individual talents and skills. I like making friendships with new friends, as I think friends are important. One day, I will make myself well known and be famous all over the world. In the meantime, I also like sports. I just do them for exercise and fun.

I think I can't write any more! Now it's your turn to write to me. So please don't hesitate to invite me to be your friend and make comments.