Steadfast resolve/losing faith

[HanibalII]

Hey all, I've been working on expanding a story I recently completed and submitted for publication in accord with one of my exams, however I have decided to greatly expand it to provide a much more in depth description of all my characters. I've reached my first hurdle, and I'm unsure of how to exactly get across my thought in the most appropriate English while still keeping it fluid and maintaining the comparison.

The darkness was a guarantee that would come to pass for the rest of eternity; however it is very dissimilar to my resolve. I liked to think of it as my steadfast resolve, but in fact, it would waiver faster than the beat of my heart.

This is a simile I have thought of that may work, but would prefer a second/third opinion.

I liked to think of it as my steadfast resolve, but in fact, it would waiver like a candle trying to stay alight in the wind and the darkness.

It is that particular section that I am having difficulty with.

Please feel free to drop any suggestions.


Cheers

Simon

 

[Grumpy]

The first thing to say is that you are confusing "waiver" [The voluntary relinquishment or surrender of some known right or privilege, or a dispensation from a rule or penalty] with "waver" [To vacillate irresolutely between choices; to fluctuate in opinion, allegiance, or direction; to quiver, flicker ...].

Given the that one of the synonyms for "waver" is "flicker", then your use of the candle flame as a simile seems a good choice. I would not include "..and the darkness", since the darkness is not causing the candle to flicker.

 

[HanibalII]

The first thing to say is that you are confusing "waiver" [The voluntary relinquishment or surrender of some known right or privilege, or a dispensation from a rule or penalty] with "waver" [To vacillate irresolutely between choices; to fluctuate in opinion, allegiance, or direction; to quiver, flicker ...].

Given the that one of the synonyms for "waver" is "flicker", then your use of the candle flame as a simile seems a good choice. I would not include "..and the darkness", since the darkness is not causing the candle to flicker.

Whoops! I didn't actually realise there was a spelling difference.

Thanks for the suggestions though

I've been slaving over this piece for a while now.


Cheers