[General] Stylistic opinion

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bodogeri

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There is a sentence I wrote, and I would like to know whether or not it is natural sounding.

"He walked off without their noticing him."

I would be glad if a native speaker took a look at it. (old-fashioned or not, formal - semi-formal - or informal, ect.) If asked, I would say that it is semi-formal and a little bit old-fashioned, but I would not stake my life on it.
 

5jj

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I would not stake my life on any issue of grammar or style!

You sentence seems a little formal, though I might well use it. I think that most people today, especially in speech, would use 'them' rather than 'their'.
 

bodogeri

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Thank you a lot!
 
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