the letter of complaint

[Anatoly]

Hello, dear teachers,
I would be grateful to you very much to tell me if there is something wrong in the following text: :?:
“I am writing to express my concern about the state of the flats in the blocks at Towerhill, on Merseyside.
Eighty families are compelled to endure the wetness and decay in their flats. The members of some families - adults and children – sleep in one bedroom because the mould has made the others unusable. The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.
The water from the flooded flats above trickles down the electrical wiring that could be the cause for an accident.
The blocks of flats are not boarded up and the police doesn’t patrol the area. Therefore the danger of crimes faces the tenants.
I must urge you to take immediate action to evacuate the flats.”
Thank you in advance!
Yours sincerely , Anatoly.

 

[RonBee]

Commentary.

“I am writing to express my concern about the state of the flats in the blocks at Towerhill, on Merseyside.

That is good.

Eighty families are compelled to endure the wetness and decay in their flats.

I suggest replacing wetness and decay with dampness and mould.

The members of some families - adults and children – sleep in one bedroom because the mould has made the others unusable.

That is good.

The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.

Please be more specific about the conditions outside their flats. (You need to replace "destructions and mess" with something, but at this point I am not sure what it should be.)

The water from the flooded flats above trickles down the electrical wiring that could be the cause for an accident.

The water from the flooded flats trickles down to the flats below them, and because it might come in contact with the electrical wiring that creates a fire hazard.

The blocks of flats are not boarded up and the police doesn’t patrol the area. Therefore the danger of crimes faces the tenants.

The blocks of flats are not boarded up and the police don't patrol the area. That leaves the tenants vulnerable to crime.

I must urge you to take immediate action to evacuate the flats.”

That is good.

8)

 

[Anatoly]

]Commentary.

The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.

Please be more specific about the conditions outside their flats. (You need to replace "destructions and mess" with something, but at this point I am not sure what it should be.)
8)

I meant blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment and household rubbish.
Thank you very much, RonBee, for your help.

 

[RonBee]

]Commentary.

The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.

Please be more specific about the conditions outside their flats. (You need to replace "destructions and mess" with something, but at this point I am not sure what it should be.)
8)

I meant blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment and household rubbish.

Ah, that is good. Include that in the letter. Say something like, "The conditions outside the flats are intolerable--blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment, and household rubbish." That should do it.

Thank you very much, RonBee, for your help.

You're quite welcome.

8)

 

[Tdol]

The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.


People have to put up with dirt, vandalism and rubbish outside their flats. ??? ;-)

 

[Anatoly]

The people suffer from destructions and mess outside their flats.


People have to put up with dirt, vandalism and rubbish outside their flats. ??? ;-)

Thank you, very much, Tdol! You helped very much too! However I'm trying to write a letter in formal style and I'm not sure about "put up with" if this is an appropriate phrasal verb :?:

 

[Tdol]

OK- how about using 'endure'?

 

[RonBee]

Perhaps tolerate?

8)

 

[Tdol]

Tolerate sounds a bit accepting for a complaint- I was trying to find something more negative. There's something better than 'endure', but I haven't got there. ;-)

 

[RonBee]

Tolerate sounds a bit accepting for a complaint- I was trying to find something more negative. There's something better than 'endure', but I haven't got there. ;-)

I can't say that I totally agree with that. How about: "I am forced to tolerate that sickening odor every time I walk down that street."

8)

 

[Anatoly]

Hello again and many thanks, dear teachers!
What about the following: “The conditions outside the flats are also intolerable. The people have to remain among the blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment and rubbish”?.

 

[RonBee]

Hello again and many thanks, dear teachers!
What about the following: “The conditions outside the flats are also intolerable. The people have to remain among the blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment and rubbish”?.

The first sentence is fine. I would rewrite the second one somewhat. Perhaps: "The people have to endure (or put up with) such conditions as blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed equipment, and rubbish strewn about the premises." You could add: "Vandalism and theft are a constant problem." (They don't have to put up with looted equipment, because it isn't there.)

What do you think?

8)

 

[Anatoly]

Hello again and many thanks, dear teachers!
What about the following: “The conditions outside the flats are also intolerable. The people have to remain among the blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed or looted equipment and rubbish”?.

The first sentence is fine. I would rewrite the second one somewhat. Perhaps: "The people have to endure (or put up with) such conditions as blackened walls, charred doors, destroyed equipment, and rubbish strewn about the premises." You could add: "Vandalism and theft are a constant problem." (They don't have to put up with looted equipment, because it isn't there.)

What do you think?

8)

Thanks! That’s a great idea!
So, "The people have to put up with such conditions as blackened walls, charred doors and rubbish strewn about the premises. Vandalism and theft, which are a constant problem, damage equipment and make the blocks uninhabitable."
I agree that the people don't have to put up with looted equipment, because it isn't there. The opposite is incorrect in Russian as well.
BTW, I love English phrasal verbs, but I only was worried about using them in the formal letter. Sometimes they surprise me with their meaning and some of the p.v. I’ve learnt are used in informal speech.

 

[RonBee]

That looks good to me.

8)

 

[Anatoly]

That looks good to me.

8)

Thanks a lot! Nice to work with you and Tdol.

 

[RonBee]

There is a whole slew of phrasal verbs beginning with put. Go here:
http://www.onelook.com/?w=put_*&ls=a

put up with:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=put up with (near the bottom of the page)
put up with:
http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=put+up+with (near the bottom of the page)

Example: "I will not put up with that anymore."

8)

 

[Anatoly]

There is a whole slew of phrasal verbs beginning with put. Go here:
http://www.onelook.com/?w=put_*&ls=a

put up with:
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=put up with (near the bottom of the page)
put up with:
http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=put+up+with (near the bottom of the page)

Example: "I will not put up with that anymore."

8)

I'm very grateful to you, RonBee, for showing me these links that are very useful. I’ve found out a lot of helpful information.

 

[RonBee]

You're quite welcome.

8)