The signs that Maria and Bob's marriage

Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct. Do I need a comma after "in it"?

The signs that Maria and Bob's marriage would soon break apart could have been found in the picture taken by their daughter. In it, the couple sat on the beach apart from each other like two strangers, engrossed in their own thoughts.
 

emsr2d2

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I'd use "fall apart" or "break down" but "break apart" is understandable; it's just not a phrase commonly connected with marriage. The comma is correct. I'm not keen on "apart from each other". I'd probably lengthen it to "In it, the couple were sitting so far away from each other on a beach that they could have been complete strangers, ..."
 

Bassim

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emsr2d2,

I am just wondering if "like two strangers" is not a proper phrase in this sentence, or not grammatically correct.
 

emsr2d2

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Hmm, if they were behaving "like [two] strangers" on purpose, perhaps to convince someone else that they didn't know each other, it might make more sense. In your context, it merely appeared to onlookers who didn't know them that they didn't know each other.
 
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