The train eased into the station

[Bassim]

I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

The train eased into the station. When the doors to the passenger cars opened, among dozens of people who got off a tall man in a cowboy hat and carrying a large bag set apart from others. Something radiated from him, which caused not only adults, but children also to stare at him.

 

[teechar]

The train eased into the station and, [STRIKE]When the doors to the passenger cars opened,[/STRIKE] among the dozens of people who got off, a tall man in a cowboy hat and carrying a large bag [STRIKE]set apart[/STRIKE] stood out from the others. Something radiated from him, which caused not only the adults, but also the children [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] to stare at him.

.

 

[andrewg927]

I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

The train eased into the station. When the doors to the passenger cars opened, among dozens of people who got off was a tall man in a cowboy hat [STRIKE]and carrying[/STRIKE] with a large bag set apart from others. Something radiated from him, which caused not only adults, but children also to stare at him.

See my corrections. I can't quite figure out what you mean by the passenger cars.

 

[probus]

See my corrections. I can't quite figure out what you mean by the passenger cars.

Some trains contain both freight cars and passenger cars.

But, Bassiim, I agree with Teechar that this is a detail you can and should omit. When your impressive character emerges from the train onto the platform all readers will instantly assume thay he had travelled in a passenger car.