Thesis in an essay!

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Atesttaker

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The thesis is the most significant statement in your essay. It consists of one sentence only
and is usually the last sentence of your introduction. A thesis must be a complete
sentence (unlike a title). It should also be narrow enough for you to be able to discuss it
within the short time frame allowed on the TOEFL and within a two- or three-paragraph
body. Yet it must also be general enough for you to be able to write two to three subpoints
on this topic.For example, this is not a thesis: "Smoking in restaurants in New York is illegal." It
merely states a fact, but provides no position or opinion regarding this fact.
This is a thesis: "Not allowing smoking in restaurants in New York is highly unfair to the
smoker and gives too much power to the nonsmoker."

I qouted the above paragraph so you can get a glimpse that what exactly thesis is.
Here are some of topics to which i wrote thesis and I would be thankful if anyone suggests me a better

thesis or tell me where I am wrong.Before suggesting please also qoute that the purposed thesis is

false.

1. Topic/Question: If you had a choice, would you like to live forever? Explain why this
does or does not appeal to you.
Thesis:Living forever would be a terrible thing for me.

2. Topic: Students attend a university or college for a variety of reasons. In your opinion,
what should be the main purpose of a university education?
Thesis:The purpose of the education is to equip the student with professional attitude.

3. Topic: When many people think of the United States, words such as independent and
free-spirited come to mind. If you had to describe your country by its personality, what
trait(s) would best describe it?
Thesis:My country is well known for its hospitality and kindness of its people.

4. Topic: Most people experience at least some degree of culture shock when they are
getting accustomed to a new culture. What advice would you give to a friend of yours to
help him get over culture shock? (You may write about your own culture or about the
American culture.)
Thesis:My friend should try to learn the essential values of the new culture and then implent them as

long as they do not contradict severly to his own culture.

5. Topic: It is necessary to be wealthy in order to be successful. Do you agree with this
statement? Why or why not?
Thesis:One can not achieve one's success in life without wealth.
 

MikeNewYork

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Atesttaker said:
The thesis is the most significant statement in your essay. It consists of one sentence only
and is usually the last sentence of your introduction. A thesis must be a complete
sentence (unlike a title). It should also be narrow enough for you to be able to discuss it
within the short time frame allowed on the TOEFL and within a two- or three-paragraph
body. Yet it must also be general enough for you to be able to write two to three subpoints
on this topic.For example, this is not a thesis: "Smoking in restaurants in New York is illegal." It
merely states a fact, but provides no position or opinion regarding this fact.
This is a thesis: "Not allowing smoking in restaurants in New York is highly unfair to the
smoker and gives too much power to the nonsmoker."

I qouted the above paragraph so you can get a glimpse that what exactly thesis is.
Here are some of topics to which i wrote thesis and I would be thankful if anyone suggests me a better

thesis or tell me where I am wrong.Before suggesting please also qoute that the purposed thesis is

false.

1. Topic/Question: If you had a choice, would you like to live forever? Explain why this
does or does not appeal to you.
Thesis:Living forever would be a terrible thing for me.

That's pretty good.

2. Topic: Students attend a university or college for a variety of reasons. In your opinion,
what should be the main purpose of a university education?
Thesis:The purpose of the education is to equip the student with professional attitude.

I am not sure what a professional attitude is. Can you write three paragraphs about that? Classically, the major reasons for one to pursue a university eduction are to acquire the knowledge a skills necessary for success in a particular field (acquire knowledge for a purpose) or to expand one's knowledge in general and to grow personally (personal enhancement). Both are likely to occur.

3. Topic: When many people think of the United States, words such as independent and
free-spirited come to mind. If you had to describe your country by its personality, what
trait(s) would best describe it?
Thesis:My country is well known for its hospitality and kindness of its people.

That's good. Place a "the" before "kindness".

4. Topic: Most people experience at least some degree of culture shock when they are
getting accustomed to a new culture. What advice would you give to a friend of yours to
help him get over culture shock? (You may write about your own culture or about the
American culture.)
Thesis:My friend should try to learn the essential values of the new culture and then implent them as

long as they do not contradict severly to his own culture.

How about: One should try to understand the essence of a new culture and adapt to it to the extent that it does not contradict one's own core values.

5. Topic: It is necessary to be wealthy in order to be successful. Do you agree with this
statement? Why or why not?
Thesis:One can not achieve one's success in life without wealth.

One cannot achieve success in one's life without some degree of wealth.

I softened your statement just a little. That would be a bit easier to argue.
 
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