to lay the keel

JACEK1

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Joined
Feb 10, 2013
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Interested in Language
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Polish
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Poland
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Poland
Hello everybody!
The question that I am going to ask you is about the beginning of construction of a ferry. Such construction is usually commenced by laying the keel. I would like to write a sentence that is to be a title.
A Ship Repair Yard has laid the keel for a ferry to be constructed for a customer =? A Ship Repair Yard has laid the keel for a ferry that/which is to be constructed for a customer.
Which of the bolded sentences (if any at all) is acceptable to you?
What is your opinion?
Thank you.
 
J

J&K Tutoring

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A Ship Repair Yard has laid the keel for a ferry to be constructed for a customer =? A Ship Repair Yard has laid the keel for a ferry that/which is to be constructed for a customer. I would like to write a sentence that is to be a title.

I assume this would be the title of a news article in some trade publication, and the readers will be familiar with the name of the builder and the customer. If so, then your original sentence is too long and too vague. You might as well begin with 'Once upon a time...' Titles of published news articles typically take liberties with usage to shorten them as much as possible. I suggest:

1. (Name) yard has laid the keel of a new ferry for (name).
2.
(name) lays keel for new ferry The article would include the name of the customer.
3. Keel laid for (customer) ferry The article would include the name of the builder.
4. Keel laid for new ferry The article would mention both the builder and the customer.
 
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