[Essay] too much of rich identities and prospects

angelsrolls

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Hello,

Can you please check the English below to see if it has any flaws?

"Turkey possesses too much of rich identities and prospects to be noticed by the short-sighted politicians of the mentioned country."
 

emsr2d2

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Unfortunately, it has rather a lot of flaws.

I have no idea what "rich identities" are or how a country can have "too much of" (which should be "too many") them. How can a country have too many prospects? In fact, how can it have prospects at all? Which country is the "mentioned country"? The phrase "mentioned country" doesn't really work anyway - we would say "aforementioned country" but it needs to be clear which country that refers to.
If you're talking about Turkey with that part, just end with "by its short-sighted politicians".
 
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angelsrolls

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Turkey possesses too many traits and perspectives to be noticed by the short-sighted politicians of the aforementioned country.

How is it now?
 

emsr2d2

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It's more grammatical but it's no more clear. What are these traits and perspectives to which you refer? We still don't know what country "the aforementioned country" is? If it's Turkey, I already showed you how to end the piece.
 

angelsrolls

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It's more grammatical but it's no more clear. What are these traits and perspectives to which you refer? We still don't know what country "the aforementioned country" is? If it's Turkey, I already showed you how to end the piece.

The person who is saying this slams the politicians of a country over their remarks about Turkey. Does s/he have to specify which traits and perspectives that Turkey possesses?
 

emsr2d2

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They don't have to but if you're going to ask us about a specific sentence, we need to know the context. You should have told us in post #1 that this was written by someone else, given us their name and the source of the quote and, ideally, given us the wider context too.
 

GoesStation

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Turkey possesses too many traits and perspectives to be noticed by the short-sighted politicians of the aforementioned country.

How is it now?

They don't have to but if you're going to ask us about a specific sentence, we need to know the context. You should have told us in post #1 that this was written by someone else, given us their name and the source of the quote and, ideally, given us the wider context too.
Every country possesses an endless list of traits and perspectives. Countries have climates, economies, populations, policies, etc. The sentence would be stronger if it said something unique, or at least unusual, about Turkey.
 

angelsrolls

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Another mention of the need to specify the county’s traits and perspectives has led me to think that the sentence means something different from what it is intended to say. The original sentence basically says that the said politicians cannot notice Turkey’s greatness because of their short-sightedness. If the sentence fails to convey this meaning, then I’ll have to rewrite it such that it adheres to the meaning in the original.
 

emsr2d2

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You still haven't named the source and the author.
 

GoesStation

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Every country possesses an endless list of traits and perspectives. Countries have climates, economies, populations, policies, etc. The sentence would be stronger if it said something unique, or at least unusual, about Turkey.
I think I failed to make the point I was aiming at here. The problem with the sentence is that it doesn't say what kinds of traits and perspectives make Turkey a place that the aforementioned* country's politicians should ignore. It's a strange sentiment; I suspect the original sentence says something suggesting that Turkey is an important country which should not be ignored.

*It also doesn't say what that mystery country is. I'd avoid "the aforementioned country" and simply name it.
 

angelsrolls

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Wow! We are not on the same page. If I had known this would get to this point, I would have given details about the context. This sentence is a part of a sentence used in the press release announced by the Turkish Foreign Ministry. Above sentence is my own translated version. The official translation of this sentence is as follows:

“Turkey possesses rich traits and perspectives that can not be properly evaluated due to the short-sightedness of the politicians of these countries.”
http://www.mfa.gov.tr/no_-279_-alma...lanilan-turkiye-karsiti-ifadeler-hk_en.en.mfa

I examine these statements, and attempt to translate those into English, and subsequently compare it to the English version.

I’m very surprised that my sentence means the opposite of what I want to express. But I haven’t been convinced that my sentence says that Turkey should be ignored. For example, if someone says to me “I have too many problems to handle”, I understand from this sentence that the speaker has so many problems that she cannot handle. Am I mistaken here?

As for “aforementioned”, I deliberately used this word because it was unnecessary to name the country’s name.
 

GoesStation

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Turkey possesses too many traits and perspectives to be noticed by the short-sighted politicians of the aforementioned country.

I haven’t been convinced that my sentence says that Turkey should be ignored.
It may be clearer if you simplify the sentence: Turkey possesses too many Segways to be noticed.​ Do you see how this says that the large number of Segways in Turkey somehow makes the country unnoticeable? (I have no idea how many Segways there are in Turkey. I just wanted to reduce the number of nouns in the sentence.)
 

angelsrolls

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It may be clearer if you simplify the sentence: Turkey possesses too many Segways to be noticed.​ Do you see how this says that the large number of Segways in Turkey somehow makes the country unnoticeable? (I have no idea how many Segways there are in Turkey. I just wanted to reduce the number of nouns in the sentence.)

Then, if we were to rephrase my sentence in the same manner, it would be something like “short-sighted politicians cannot notice a large number of traits and perspectives that Turkey possesses”, which is exactly what I want to express. I still don’t understand why you have arrived at the conclusion that my sentence says that Turkey should be ignored. Can you possibly explain your reasoning in the simplest terms possible?
 

GoesStation

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In this construction to be noticed refers to Turkey, not to the traits and perspectives. Does that clarify the problem?
 

GoesStation

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The reader understands it as "Nobody notices Turkey. It has too many traits and perspectives!"
 

SoothingDave

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The official translation you give above does not say "too many." You have added that and it changes the meaning.

The official translation says that the short-sightedness of the mystery country causes it to not be able to properly evaluate Turkey's "rich traits and perspectives."
 
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