V.I.P.-part five Short story

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Bassim

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Please, would you proofread my text.

He called the caretaker and ordered him to put the rostrum on the square. Above it should stay a banner with the text written in big red letters "Welcome to our town!" Five rows of white plastic chairs should be placed in front of it. They should be reserved for the most important persons of the town and one single armchair with a purple seat and beautifully carved rinceau on the back should be placed in the middle, reserved for the V.I.P. In a moment the flags fluttered on the poles as well on the lamp posts. The Mayor called a meeting with two party leaders and as soon as they had heard the news, they started to quarell. They could not agree about where they were going to sit. The leader of the PRP wanted to sit on the left of the V.I.P. while the leader of the PLP argued that as he was the leader of the leftist party it was his legal right to occupy the left seat.

Some bad words were said which made the atmosphere strained and if the Major had not stepped in between them, the two honourable men would have exchanged blows. At the end it was decided that they toss a coin to see who would sit on which place. When providence had showed its love for the leader of the PRP, his large head swelled up twice of happiness and malice. He was currently in opposition, but next year there would be new elections and he was going to use the presence of the V.I. P. to promote himself and his party. He needed only a photo where V.I.P. and he friendly shake their hands and smile. The leader of the PLP was pale and visibly shaken. He was governing with a small majority and if people heard that providence was not on his side his two delegate could defect to to PRP and he would be lost.

He prayed to God that V.I.P. be a woman. He knew how to talk to a woman; the environment and animals rights are always popular. By the way, if V.I.P. are a woman , the leader of PRP will have no chance at all. A man who have such a huge head and such a big stomach must arouse disgust in every normal female.

There was two football clubs in the town which competed in lower league. "Comets" and "Stars." The team shirt of the "Comets" was yellow with a blue comet on the upper right part of the shirt, while the team shirt of the "Stars" was blue with a yellow star on the upper left part of the shirt. There was a fierce rivalry between these two clubs although their conflicts usually ended peacefully. The official mascot of the "Comets" was a sheep, while the mascot of the Stars was a goat. It happened sometimes that supporters accused each other of raping the opponent's mascot but there was no proof and no charges had been made.
The Major summoned the two clubs' presidents and told them about the news, warning them to keep their animals away from the square. He did not want that V.I.P. believed the inhabitants were perverts. Their supporters should come in a great number and greet the V.I.P. with a deafening cheer.

There was a fire station in the town which the Firemen's orchestra played during the celebrations and on burials. They were all amateurs and usually practised their instruments in the winter when fires were rare. The Major and the Fire safety officer who also was the conductor agreed that the orchestra should perform a potpourry of a local melodies and show the V.I.P. the richness of musical heritage and culture in the town.

By noon, the Major looked out the window again and saw that the crowd swelled to about a hundred. Some of the people had brought their own chairs and parasols. The heat was growing and he pitied them but, it was not every day that V.I.P. arrived to the town.

To be continued...
 
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Svaneska

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He/The Mayor called the caretaker and ordered him to put the rostrum on the square/place a rostrum in the square and suspended above it a banner with the text written in big red letters "Welcome To Our Town!" Five rows of white plastic chairs should be placed in front of it. They should/these to be reserved for the most important persons of the town and one single armchair with a purple seat and/with beautifully carved rinceau[this is not a familiar term] on the back, should be placed in the middle/[on a dais], reserved for the V.I.P. In a moment/soon the flags fluttered on the poles as well on lamp posts. The Mayor called a meeting with the two party leaders and as soon as they heard the news, they started quarrelling. They could not agree about where they were going to sit/they could not agree on the seating arrangements. The leader of the PRP wanted to sit on the left of the V.I.P. while the leader of the PLP argued that as he was the leader of the leftist party it was his legal right to occupy the left seat.

Some bad/harsh words were said which made the atmosphere strained, and if the Mayor had not stepped in between them, the two honourable gentlemen would have exchanged blows. At the end it was decided that they toss a coin to see who would sit in which place. When providence had showed its love for the leader of the PRP, his large head swelled with happiness and malice. He was currently in opposition, but next year there would be new elections and he was going to use the presence of the V.I.P. to promote himself and his party. He needed only a photo opportunity where V.I.P. and he friendly shake their hands and smile/with them shaking hands and smiling together. The leader of the PLP was pale and visibly shaken. He was governing with a small majority and if people heard that providence was not on his side his two delegates could defect to to PRP and he would be lost.

He prayed to God that the V.I.P. would be a woman. He knew how to talk to a woman; the environment and animals rights are always popular. By the way/moreover, if the V.I.P. was a woman, the leader of the PRP would have no chance at all/simply not stand a chance because a man who had such a huge head and big stomach must arouse disgust in every normal female.

There were two football clubs in the town which competed in the lower league. The "Comets" and the "Stars." The "Comets" team shirt was yellow with a blue comet on the upper right part/side of the shirt, while the team shirt of the "Stars" was blue with a yellow star on the upper left part/side. There was a fierce rivalry/a fierce rivalry existed between the two clubs although their conflicts usually ended peacefully/amicably. The official mascot of the "Comets" was a sheep, while the mascot/that of the Stars was a goat. It sometimes happened that supporters accused each other of raping the opponent's mascot but there was no proof and no charges had been made.

The Mayor summoned the two clubs' presidents and told them the news, warning them to keep their animals away from the square. He did not want the V.I.P. believing the inhabitants to be perverts. Their supporters should come in a great number and greet the V.I.P. with a deafening cheer.

There was a fire station in the town, and the Firemen's orchestra played/performed during celebrations and on burials/at funerals. They were all amateurs and usually practised their instruments in the winter /the orchestra was made up of amateurs and they would practice during the winter months, when fires were rare{?why would there be less likelihood of fires during the winter?}. The Major and the Fire safety officer, who was also the conductor, agreed that the orchestra should perform a potpourri of local melodies to show the V.I.P. the richness of their musical heritage and culture in the town.

By/at noon the Major looked out the window again and saw the crowd swelled to about a hundred. Some of the people had brought their own chairs and parasols. The heat was growing and he pitied them, but it was not every day that a V.I.P. arrived/came to visit the town.


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Bassim

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Svaneska

In the following part I have meant that the armchair should be placed in the middle of a line of the plastic chairs (not on a dais because VIP was going to sit and listen together with the others and not give a speech.
Should I say instead " ...should be placed in the middle of a line, reserved for VIP"
 

Svaneska

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Svaneska

In the following part I have meant that the armchair should be placed in the middle of a line of the plastic chairs (not on a dais because VIP was going to sit and listen together with the others and not give a speech.
Should I say instead " ...should be placed in the middle of a line, reserved for VIP"

Hello Basim

Oh I see, sorry, I put the words in brackets only as a suggestion, but I understand now that you mean the chair to be placed in the middle, so leave it as it is, or say 'placed in the middle of the row'.

take care

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