V.I.P.-part two Short story

[Bassim]

Dear people.
Please, would you proofread the second part of my short story.

"The sound of the engines became stronger and suddenly, we saw four motorcycles coming toward us. Their front indicators blinked blue. The drivers were dressed in black skin jackets and wore white helmets. A cheer went up from the people and they waved flags and handkerchiefs, but the motorcyclists went by without showing any interest in us. Then, there came two black Mercedes with dark tinted glass and blue signal lights on their roof.
The third car was a big black Mercedes convertible. On its back seat sat the President dressed in a white linen jacket and with the white gloves on his hands. Beside him was his wife, also dressed in white clothes with the white gloves on her hands. They waved at the crowd at both sides, nodding slightly with their heads. However, we scarcely had a time to wave at them back before the whole motorcade disappeared behind the curve.

So much work and trouble for a few seconds of excitement! People felt disappointed and instead started telling their own stories. Someone said that the President's clothes were brown, the other argued they were yellow and at the end one could not find out what was the real truth. They even quarrelled about his car, because there were people who said that it was not Mercedes at all but American Cadillac, but I know it was Mercedes because of the three pointed stars and the circle on the bonnet.
There were also people who did not care about the President at all and they ran to their homes to open all doors and let chickens, dogs, cows and sheep out. But as long I remember years after that every discussion would begin with this rare event and every year a new details emerged and now I am not sure what is the truth any longer. I am not sure if it was the President at all or some other dignitary?"

"He died shortly after that," said the the third old woman. She embroidered a white piece of cloth which looked liked a tablecloth.
"They said it was she who had poisoned him." said the first old woman.
"That's never been proven,"said the second. "She was acquitted because of the lack of evidence."
"It was rumoured she had killed him because she wanted to become the President herself. And I did not like her, although I saw her just for a second in that car beside him." said the third.

They gossiped for a while and complained about their own chronic and short illnesses and then they got up and trudged off the street. They wanted to arrive to the square in time and take the best possible places.

To be continued...

 

[Svaneska]

"The sound of the engines became stronger and suddenly, we saw four motorcycles coming toward us. Their front indicators blinked blue. The drivers were dressed in black skin/leather jackets and they wore white helmets. A cheer went up from the people/crowd and they waved flags and handkerchiefs, but the motorcyclists went by without showing any interest in us. Then, there came two black Mercedes with dark tinted glass and blue signal lights on their roof.

The third car was a big black Mercedes convertible. On its back seat sat the President dressed in a white linen jacket with white gloves on his hands. Beside him was his wife, also dressed in white clothes and white gloves. They waved at the crowd on both sides, nodding slightly with their heads. However, we scarcely had time to wave back at them before the whole motorcade disappeared behind/around the curve/bend.

So much work and trouble for a few seconds of excitement! People felt disappointed and instead started telling their own stories. Someone said that the President's clothes were brown, the other argued they were yellow and at the end one could not find out what was the real truth. They even quarrelled about his car, because there were people who said that it was not a Mercedes at all but an American Cadillac, but I know it was a Mercedes because of the three-pointed star and circle on the bonnet.

There were also people who did not care about the President at all and they ran to their homes to open all the doors and let chickens, dogs, cows and sheep out. But as long I remember for years after every discussion would begin/began with this rare event and every year new details emerged and now I am not sure what the truth is any longer. I am not sure if it was the President at all or some other dignitary"

"He died shortly after that," said the third old woman as she embroidered a white piece of cloth which looked liked a tablecloth.
"They said it was she who had poisoned him." said the first old woman.
"That's never been proven” said the second. "She was acquitted because of the lack of evidence."
"It was rumoured she had killed him because she wanted to become the President herself. I did not like her, although I saw her just for a second in that car beside him." said the third.

They gossiped for a while and complained about their own chronic and short illnesses and then they got up and trudged off up the street. They wanted to arrive at the square in [plenty of] time and take the best possible places.

 

[RonBee]

"The sound of the engines became stronger and suddenly, we saw four motorcycles coming toward us. Their front indicators blinked blue. The drivers were dressed in black skin jackets and wore white helmets. A cheer went up from the people and they waved flags and handkerchiefs, but the motorcyclists went by without showing any interest in us. Then, there came two black Mercedes with dark tinted glass and blue signal lights on their roof.
The third car was a big black Mercedes convertible. On its back seat sat the President dressed in a white linen jacket and with the white gloves on his hands. Beside him was his wife, also dressed in white clothes with the white gloves on her hands. They waved at the crowd at both sides, nodding slightly with their heads. However, we scarcely had a time to wave at them back before the whole motorcade disappeared behind the curve.

The sound of the engines became louder and suddenly, we saw four motorcycles coming toward us. Their front indicators blinked blue. The drivers were dressed in black leather jackets and they wore white helmets. A cheer went up from the crowd and they waved flags and handkerchiefs, but the motorcyclists went by without showing any interest in us. Then, there came two black Mercedes with dark tinted glass and blue signal lights on their roofs. The third car was a big black Mercedes convertible. On its back seat sat the President dressed in a white linen jacket and with white gloves on his hands. Beside him was his wife, also dressed in white clothes and with white gloves on her hands. They waved at the crowd at both sides, nodding slightly . However, we scarcely had time to wave at them before the whole motorcade disappeared behind the curve.​