[Grammar] Walking quickly through the streets

[Nikitus]

Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"Walking quickly through the streets of Derry, Mark tried to forget the recent incident in his parents' house, although many negative feelings appeared insistently in his mind, taking him by a dark spiral."

Thanks.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"Walking quickly through the streets of Derry, Mark tried to forget the recent incident at his parents' house, although many negative feelings appeared insistently in his mind, taking him into a dark spiral."

Thanks.

It's good. Be careful with prepositions.

"But" might be stronger and clearer than "although" - but it's up to you!

 

[GoesStation]

There's just one overlong sentence. Try replacing the conjunction with a period ("full stop" in British English).