When Bob came out of prison

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Bassim

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

When Bob came out of prison, he was unrecognisable. While before he was great fun, now he turned into a bad-tempered person who would argue without reason. He once slapped a passersby only because the man stared at him, which Bob interpreted as a threat.
 

emsr2d2

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I am wondering if my sentences are grammatically correct.

When Bob came out of prison, he was unrecognisable. While before he was great fun, ​he was now [STRIKE]he turned into[/STRIKE] a bad-tempered person who would argue [STRIKE]without[/STRIKE] for no reason. He once slapped a [STRIKE]passersby[/STRIKE] passerby only because the man stared at him, which Bob interpreted as a threat.

See above. I might be inclined to change the beginning to "... his personality was unrecognisable". After reading your original opening sentence, I assumed you were going to describe how he used to look and how he looked after prison.
 
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