when I got off/while I was getting off

[user_gary]

Yesterday when I got off the train, I fell down and broke my legs. I was admitted into "S" Hospital where I am now getting treatment. The doctors said they will discharge me after a week and they also told me to prepare to pay the $50,000 in fees when I am discharged.


Can I replace "when I got off the train" with "while I was getting off the train"?

I think I can as it sounds the same to my ear. Please you help me with this.

 

[baqarah131]

If you broke your legs while you were getting off the train, as a result of the fact that you were getting off the train, then you should make the change you're considering: "while I was getting off the train."

A small point, I always object to "fell down". You fell. "Fell down" is called a "pleonasm." Other examples of pleonasms: free gift, tuna fish, hot water heater, poodle dog... You get the picture?

regards
edward

Yesterday when I got off the train, I fell down and broke my legs. I was admitted into "S" Hospital where I am now getting treatment. The doctors said they will discharge me after a week and they also told me to prepare to pay the $50,000 in fees when I am discharged.


Can I replace "when I got off the train" with "while I was getting off the train"?

I think I can as it sounds the same to my ear. Please you help me with this.

 

[cem]

If you broke your legs while you were getting off the train, as a result of the fact that you were getting off the train, then you should make the change you're considering: "while I was getting off the train."

A small point, I always object to "fell down". You fell. "Fell down" is called a "pleonasm." Other examples of pleonasms: free gift, tuna fish, hot water heater, poodle dog... You get the picture?

regards
edward

Hello,
In my opinion,'while getting off the train' does not convey the idea that you broke your legs after you got off.However, if you use 'when I got off the train' it means you broke your legs after you got off.

cem

 

[baqarah131]

We don't really know when you broke your legs. I was assuming you fell on the stairs while leaving the railway car. This does make a difference in how you'd put it into words.
I'm assuming this is a language exercise or a story you're writing, and not something that actually happened to you. If it did, I'm sorry.

regards
edward

Hello,
In my opinion,'while getting off the train' does not convey the idea that you broke your legs after you got off.However, if you use 'when I got off the train' it means you broke your legs after you got off.

cem