[General] where I discovered that I was allergic to bee sting.

newkeenlearner

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Is the sentence below correct?

When I was stung by a bee, I reacted so badly to it that I ended up having to go to the hospital where they gave me an injection in an effect to stop the reactions and where I discovered that I had been allergic to bee sting.
 
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tedmc

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When I was stung by a bee, I reacted so badly to it that I ended up having to go to the hospital where they gave me an injection in an [STRIKE]effect [/STRIKE] effort to stop the reactions and where I discovered that I had been allergic to bee sting.
 

teechar

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I would use "reaction", put "allergic" before it, a full stop after it, and delete the rest (from "and where" to the end).
 

GoesStation

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I would use "reaction", put "allergic" before it, a full stop after it, and delete the rest (from "and where" to the end).
The rest of the sentence contains more information though.
 

teechar

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What information?
 

teechar

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But isn't that implied in the "allergic" I suggested in post #4?
 

teechar

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I still don't get it, I'm afraid. If the speaker had no idea (or if they suspected but weren't certain) that they were allergic to bee stings, then "allergic" implies the staff at the hospital clarified that. Otherwise if the person already knew that they had that allergy, then there's nothing to discover. Or, am I missing something obvious here?
 

GoesStation

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I don't think so. The speaker might not have known that they were allergic to bee stings.
I know this is unlikely, but I wonder whether you accidentally omitted a word. :)
 

GoesStation

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People who know they're allergic to bee stings may find themselves in the hospital to treat one anyway. The OP's story tells about the first time the subject had a reaction. The first part tells us about the sting and the allergic reaction but it doesn't say that the reaction was a surprise.
 

teechar

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I still don't get it, because to me, if the person includes "allergic" in their sentence, that clearly means that either he/she knew beforehand or that he/she has been told by the staff at the hospital, so I can't agree; but I'll leave it at that.
 

tedmc

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I think nobody is immune to the adverse effects of a bee sting, so it is not about one's allergy to it.
 

GoesStation

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Only allergic people require hospital treatment for a single bee sting. Severely allergic people can suffer anaphylaxis which can be fatal.
 

yi-ing

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Is "in an effort" wrong? we have such phrase in all dictionaries.
Longman Dic:
Church leaders are prepared to meet the terrorists in an effort to (=in order to try to) find peace.
 
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