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Which of these sentences flow better?

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Kakashiprince

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Joined
Jul 3, 2012
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Student or Learner
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Vietnamese
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Canada
Current Location
Canada
Do any of these sentences makes sense? (which one do you prefer?)


My family history suggests that I am prone to diabetes; therefore, I want to teach myself and others to be healthy - especially by giving others advices like patients in Mt. Sinai hospital where patients I worked with were diabetic.

or

My family history suggests that I am prone to diabetes; therefore, I want to teach myself and others to be healthy. For instance, giving advices to diabetic patients in Mt. Sinai hospital whom I worked with.

or

My family history suggests that I am prone to diabetes; therefore, I want to teach myself and others to be healthy - especially patients in Mt. Sinai hospital where patients I worked with were diabetic.
 

5jj

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Oct 14, 2010
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English Teacher
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British English
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Czech Republic
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Czech Republic
My family history suggests that I am prone to diabetes; therefore, I want to teach myself and others to be healthy - especially patients in Mt. Sinai hospital, where patients I worked with were diabetic.
That's OK with the comma.
 
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