She is the woman (who/whom) I met at John's house.
I don't understand why one can use either who or whom in this sentence. thank you
***** NOT A TEACHER *****
Good morning, Ms. Lee.
(1) May I give you my opinion?
(2) Please do use "whom," especially in written English.
(3) As you know, "who" is used as the subject: I know who did it. ("who" is subject of "did.")
(4) As you know, "whom" is used as the object: Whom do you live with? ("whom" is the object of the preposition "with.")
(5) Your sentence is basically two sentences:
(a) She is the woman. I met HER at the party.
(i) You would, of course, use "her" (objective form) -- object of the verb "met." Naturally, you would never say: I met she.
(6) So your sentence is really:
She is the woman (I met whom at John's party).
(a) Now put it in "correct" order:
She is the woman whom I met at John's party.
(7) As the other posters have so correctly told you, "whom" is often not used by native speakers.
(8) Nevertheless, I respectfully make two suggestions:
(a) It really is not that difficult to learn the "rule" (although there are some sentences that confuse even the experts).
(b) It would be well worth your time to learn the rule. It will give you much more confidence in your use of English.