would be

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thomas615

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Teacher, is this sentence OK?

Ms. Mary said the cost of the school transcript would be $50 even though there are only 3 lines on that sheet and she enquired if I would like to get the transcript.
 

Raymott

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Teacher, is this sentence OK?

Ms. Mary said the cost of the school transcript would be $50 even though there are only 3 lines on that sheet and she enquired if I would like to get the transcript.
It's grammatical, but not good stylistically.
"Mary said that the cost of the school transcript would be $50 even though there were only three lines on the sheet. She asked me if I wanted it."
Note the back shifting of reported speech.
 
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