Would you correct this narration for me?

[aleycris]

Hi, it's me again. Now I wrote a narration to practice other topic. Wouldyou correct it?

Regards
Alejandro

Reason and purpose: Narration about What made the people decide to learn a foreign language?

The are various reasons why people learn foreign languages. I think that depends on their or depends on whether they need to speak other languages.
From my point of view, the job is the main reason why the people decide to learn another language. Nowadays, it is very important to know another language, likes English, because the information of the last product are in English , so if are looking for some important information about a product that you need, for example a new software, you need to know that language to understand the mining of that information or you must wait for few months to get that information in your native language. A part from that, I know people who learn languages because it is a hobby for them and they enjoy learning it. Another reason why people learn languages is in other to get more skills, because if you have more skills you would have more possibilities to get a better job.
On the whole, I think that people learn other languages because they believe that it will be useful for them.

 

[RonBee]

• Reason and purpose: Narration about What made the people decide to learn a foreign language?
  
  The are various reasons why people learn foreign languages. I think that depends on their or depends on whether they need to speak other languages.
  From my point of view, the job is the main reason why the people decide to learn another language. Nowadays, it is very important to know another language, likes English, because the information of the last product are in English , so if are looking for some important information about a product that you need, for example a new software, you need to know that language to understand the mining of that information or you must wait for few months to get that information in your native language. A part from that, I know people who learn languages because it is a hobby for them and they enjoy learning it. Another reason why people learn languages is in other to get more skills, because if you have more skills you would have more possibilities to get a better job.
  On the whole, I think that people learn other languages because they believe that it will be useful for them.

Reason and purpose: Narration about what makes people decide to learn a foreign language?

Perhaps even better: "Why do people decide to learn a foreign language?"

The are various reasons why people learn foreign languages. I think that depends on their...

Their what? Needs? Desires? Wishes? It might work better if after the first sentence you simply list the reasons.

From my point of view, their job is the main reason why people decide to learn another language.

You might want to replace From my point of view with I think, thereby using fewer words. You might also want to replace another language with a second language or a foreign language.

Nowadays, it is very important to know a second language, like English.

I am afraid I don't understand the rest of that sentence, especially the information of the last product and the mining of that information.

More later.

 

[aleycris]

Sorry,
When I said Inforamtion I'm trying to said data or something like this. Suppose you need to know what is the function of some botton in your tape recorder, so you looking on the manual for some information about data.
And mining if a typing mistake, is meaning.

I don't know is information is the right word, but I don't have other word in my mind.

Regards.
Alejandro

 

[aleycris]

The are various reasons why people learn foreign languages. I think that depends on their... 

Their what? Needs? Desires? Wishes? It might work better if after the first sentence you simply list the reasons

Sorry I eat a word, is "their jobs"

Regards

 

[RonBee]

Sorry,
When I said Inforamtion I'm trying to said data or something like this. Suppose you need to know what is the function of some botton in your tape recorder, so you looking on the manual for some information about data.
And mining if a typing mistake, is meaning.

I don't know is information is the right word, but I don't have other word in my mind.

How about this:

• When a new American product is first released the instructions are always in English. So if you want to be able to use the product when it first comes out you have to be able to understand English. Otherwise you can't understand the instructions.
  
  Apart from that, some people choose to learn languages for the enjoyment of it. Mainly tho, I think people learn new languages because it helps them with their job.

What do you think?

 

[aleycris]

Hi RonBee,
I think is good. And what do you think about the last part?

Cheers
Alejandro

 

[RonBee]

Hi RonBee,
I think is good. And what do you think about the last part?

You mention employment twice. You might want to put those comments in the same paragraph, and also you might want to mention a couple of different ways learning languages can help a person on the job or help that person to get a particular job (for example, making business contacts).

What do you think?

Are there reasons you haven't mentioned that a person might want or need to learn a new language?

 

[aleycris]

Sorry RonBee but I don't undestand what you said?
I don't have a good day.
Could you give some example?
And the rest of the narration i good gor you?.

Cheers

 

[RonBee]

Sorry RonBee but I don't undestand what you said?
I don't have a good day.
Could you give some example?
And the rest of the narration i good gor you?.

You want to put discussion of the same subject in the same paragraph and discussion of different subjects in different paragraphs. For example, if the subject is work (job, employment) put that in the same paragraph.

Another reason a person might want or need to learn a new language is that he is planning to move to or already has moved to a new country.

While "I don't have a good day" is indeed a grammatical sentence, it is not an English expression. Say I am not having a good day. (Sorry to hear that.)

I can give you some examples if I am sure of what you want examples of.

The essay is not altogether bad. It just needs a little work.

How are we doing?

 

[aleycris]

Well RonBee, I get your idea and I correct the esay.
Waht do you thing about that?

The are various reasons why people learn foreign languages. I think that depends on their jobs or depends on whether they need to speak other languages.
From my point of view, the job is the main reason why the people decide to learn a foreign language. Nowadays, it is very important to know a second language, like English, because when a new American product is first released the instructions are always in English. So if you want to be able to use the product when it first comes out you have to be able to understand English. Otherwise you can't understand the instructions.
A part from that, I know people who learn languages because it is a hobby for them and they enjoy learning it. Another reason why people learn languages is in other to get more skills, because if you have more skills you would have more possibilities to get a better job.
On the whole, I think that people learn other languages because they believe that it will be useful for them.

 

[RonBee]

Rewrite

The are various reasons why people learn foreign languages. I think that depends on their jobs or depends on whether they need to speak other languages.
From my point of view, the job is the main reason why the people decide to learn a foreign language.

Delete the second sentence. It adds no additional information. In the third sentence (which is now the second sentence), change the job to their job, and delete why the. That gives you:

• The are various reasons why people learn foreign languages. From my point of view, their job is the main reason people decide to learn a foreign language.

Nowadays, it is very important to know a second language, like English, because when a new American product is first released the instructions are always in English. So if you want to be able to use the product when it first comes out you have to be able to understand English. Otherwise you can't understand the instructions.

You don't need the last sentence. It adds no additional information.

A part from that, I know people who learn languages because it is a hobby for them and they enjoy learning it. Another reason why people learn languages is in other to get more skills, because if you have more skills you would have more possibilities to get a better job.
On the whole, I think that people learn other languages because they believe that it will be useful for them.

Apart is one word. Delete learning from the first sentence. It is redundant (unnecessary, not needed). Delete why in the second sentence. Also, it is not another reason. You mentioned job beforehand. Delete the last sentence. It adds no additional information.

A person chooses to learn a new language because he thinks that language will be useful to him in some way. That is a given. What you want to do is describe what those uses are.

 

[aleycris]

Well, I hope that will be the final version. What do you think?

The are various reasons why people learn foreign languages. From my point of view, their job is the main reason why the people decide to learn a foreign language.
Nowadays, it is very important to know a second language, like English, because when a new American product is first released the instructions are always in English. So if you want to be able to use the product when it first comes out you have to be able to understand English.
Apart from that, I know people who learn languages because it is a hobby for them and they enjoy it. Another reason people learn languages is in other to get more skills, because if you have more skills you would have more possibilities to get a better job.
On the whole, I think that people learn other languages because they believe that it will be useful for them to getting a better job, to communicating with foreign people, to have more skill, etc.

 

[RonBee]

Learning a language is learning a skill. That is the skill you are talking about the second time you mention job. Also, don't use the people unless you are talking about a specific group of people or you are talking about a nationality (French, German, Chinese, etc.). The summary is fine except that "skill" part seems redundant.

 

[aleycris]

What do you think about this sentence?

On the other hand, some parents force their child to learn foreign languages and sometimes on the long end the children finishing hate the language.

Regards
Alejandro

 

[RonBee]

What do you think about this sentence?

On the other hand, some parents force their child to learn foreign languages and sometimes on the long end the children finishing hate the language.

It needs a couple of changes. Try:

• On the other hand, some parents force their children to learn foreign languages, and sometimes the children end up hating the language.

What do you think?

 

[aleycris]

That's good, I think that is the end of this essay.

See you later

Thanks a lot.
Alejandro

 

[Tdol]

You could use 'in the long-term' instead of 'on the long end', which isn't good English, but Ron's version sounds better. ;-)