Would you please turn my composition into "native langu

[Anonymous]

I had my CET4 test yesterday and I wrote down the following

passage.However,I am not sure of it.I mean,it's written in a "Chinese

way".And the sentences may look weird for you native speakers.And I

am asking a big favor here.Would you please rewrite the passage in the

way you native speakers normally use in your daily life?I hope I'd made

myself clear.Thank you for much.

The passage is a letter replied to a friend Frank who asked for your

advice on picking a major.Your friend Frank want to apply for your

college.The passage is as follows:

Dear Frank,
Thank you for your letter.I'm glad that you're thinking about our

university.It will be a great pleasure to be with you walking on the

campus.
Speaking of picking major,I suggest Computer Science and Technology--

you see,that'd be what I would do if I was you.First,despite of the IT

recession we just went throught in the past two years,there's always been

a great demand for computer majors.Second,we're in for the so-call

"cyber" age.All the information,music,data,movie will be in digital

format,which is associated with computer technology.Computer science

means a great opportunity for you.

To be a computer major,you need to be familiar with computer.But,no

matter how skillful you are in computer now,the most important thing

is,you have to keep an interest and enthusiasm in

computers.Otherwise,computer major will be hard for you.
To prepare for the major,you'd better put what you've learned in books

into practice.You see,"practice makes perfect" do not only apply to your

English study,but also your computer learning.Only in practice,can you

understand what you've learned vividly.
In conclusion,I wish you a good luck in your application.
Yours,
Joe.

 

[RonBee]

Re: Would you please turn my composition into "native l

Dear Frank,
Thank you for your letter.I'm glad that you're thinking about our

university.It will be a great pleasure to be with you walking on the

campus.

• Dear Frank,
  Thank you for your letter. I'm glad that you're thinking about applying to our university. It will be a great pleasure to be with you walking on the
  campus.

Speaking of picking major,I suggest Computer Science and Technology--

you see,that'd be what I would do if I was you.

• Speaking of picking a major, I suggest Computer Science and Technology. You see, that's the one I would choose if I were you.

I think that's a little abrupt. How about:

• I understand that you are undecided about what major to choose. I suggest that you consider Computer Science and Technology.

First,despite of the IT

recession we just went throught in the past two years,there's always been

a great demand for computer majors.Second,we're in for the so-call

"cyber" age.All the information,music,data,movie will be in digital

format,which is associated with computer technology.Computer science

means a great opportunity for you.

• Despite the IT recession we just went through, there is always a great demand for computer majors. Just about everything--music, data of all kinds, movies--is in digital format these days. There are great opportunities in computer science.

To be a computer major,you need to be familiar with computer.But,no

matter how skillful you are in computer now,the most important thing

is,you have to keep an interest and enthusiasm in

computers.Otherwise,computer major will be hard for you.

• To be a computer major you need to be familiar with computers. Also, it is important that you have a genuine interest in working with computers. Otherwise, being a computer major will be just too hard.

To prepare for the major,you'd better put what you've learned in books

into practice.You see,"practice makes perfect" do not only apply to your

English study,but also your computer learning.Only in practice,can you

understand what you've learned vividly.
In conclusion,I wish you a good luck in your application.
Yours,
Joe.

• To prepare for the major you will need to put what you learned in books into practice. You see,"practice makes perfect" applies not only to your English studies but also to your computer learning. Only through practice can you make what you learned "stick" with you.
  
  Good luck on your application.
  Yours,
  Joe