Any word to substitute the word honey?

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NewHopeR

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"Honey" sounds to casual. Any word to substitute it?

Context:

Here comes the battle cry:
Damned tyranny,
Or Dem. honey!
Let our ten legions decide
With our righteous sword!
======================
Dem.: democratic
 
NewHopeR said:
Here comes the battle cry:
Damned tyranny,
Or Dem. honey!
Let our ten legions decide
With our righteous sword!
Click to expand...
Where did you find that? The third line makes no sense at all to me.
 
It makes no sense to me either. If I had to guess, I would say that two different types of government are being compared: one is deemed to be bad (damned tyranny), the other one, democracy, is deemed to be good (honey = sweet = good).

This is a just a wild guess.
 
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5jj said:
Where did you find that? The third line makes no sense at all to me.
Click to expand...

The third line "Let our ten legions decide With our righteous sword(s)!" (To decide whether we want sweet democracy or cruel tyranny).
It's crystal clear to me. I cannot see why it makes no sense" ("ten legions" obviously refers to "great army")
 
NewHopeR said:
The third line "Let our ten legions decide With our righteous sword(s)!" (To decide whether we want sweet democracy or cruel tyranny).
It's crystal clear to me. I cannot see why it makes no sense" ("ten legions" obviously refers to "great army")
Click to expand...
That's the fourth line.
 
5jj said:
That's the fourth line.
Click to expand...

So you've referred to "Or Dem. honey" which you deemed having no sense. But the note in the context has pointed out that "Dem." refers to "democractic." Do you think "democratic honey" (democratic sweetness) makes no sense?
It looks unequivocal to me since Dem. can mean "Democratic."
 
NewHopeR said:
So you've referred to "Or Dem. honey" which you deemed having no sense. But the note in the context has pointed out that "Dem." refers to "democractic." Do you think "democratic honey" (democratic sweetness) makes no sense?
It looks unequivocal to me since Dem. can mean "Democratic."
Click to expand...
Frankly, NewHoper, the whole thing makes little sense to me. I see no reason to shorten 'democratic' to 'Dem' if you need a note to explain it, and the capital D' made me think you were referring to the American polical party. 'Democratic honey' does not immediately make me think of 'sweet democracy'.

It may be crystal clear to you that 'our ten legions' refers to 'a great army' but it wasn't to me. Anyway, I don't see how our great army is going to decide between tyranny and democracy with its righteous sword.
 
5jj said:
Frankly, NewHoper, the whole thing makes little sense to me. I see no reason to shorten 'democratic' to 'Dem' if you need a note to explain it, and the capital D' made me think you were referring to the American polical party. 'Democratic honey' does not immediately make me think of 'sweet democracy'.

It may be crystal clear to you that 'our ten legions' refers to 'a great army' but it wasn't to me. Anyway, I don't see how our great army is going to decide between tyranny and democracy with its righteous sword.
Click to expand...

The background is China, and China alone, not US or UK or any other country at all.

Now please read it in the background; does it make sense?:

Here comes the battle cry:
Damned tyranny,
Or democratic honey!
Let our ten legions decide
With our righteous sword!
 
I first understood "democratic honey" as sarcastic. (And that only after about a minute. I spent that minute trying to develop any understanding of it.)

"The sweetness of democracy" maybe?
 
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birdeen's call said:
I first understoond "democratic honey" as sarcastic. (And that only after about a minute. I spent that minute trying to develop any understanding of it.)

"The sweetness of democracy" maybe?
Click to expand...

"Sweet democracy" will be fine and unambiguous.
But the rhythm is lost there.
 
(Not a Teacher)

Actually I feel that "sweet democracy" reads well here and gives the statement better 'symmetry', if that makes any sense.
 
NewHopeR said:
"Sweet democracy" will be fine and unambiguous.
But the rhythm is lost there.
Click to expand...
What rhythm?

ˈDamnedˈtyraˈnny,.. --..
Or ˈDem. ˈhoney!.....--.
 
5jj said:
What rhythm?

ˈDamnedˈtyraˈnny,.. --..
Or ˈDem. ˈhoney!.....--.
Click to expand...


Well, why not try another one:

To accept the tyranny?
To rid of the ignominy?
Let our ten legions decide
With our righteous sword.

It sounds a bit weak anyways, and the second line has some ambiguity.
 
SlickVic9000 said:
(Not a Teacher)

Actually I feel that "sweet democracy" reads well here and gives the statement better 'symmetry', if that makes any sense.
Click to expand...

Thanks.
But cannot we make it more poetic?
 
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