Could a teacher please proof read for me. It seems too long winded

[boozl]

Increasing attendances?

I believe our football club would love to be able to do something to boost both attendances and revenue at home matches, but how can it be done? I doubt if any promotion affecting the cost of an adult ticket for just one game would be able to do this and would almost certainly result in a net loss. The hope would be seeing these supporters prepared to pay the full cost of a ticket on their return to watch a game that they would have not even contemplated attending had they not took the offer up in the first place.

 

[Rover_KE]

It would be OK, Boozl, if you were to change took to taken.

Rover

 

[susiedqq]

Our football club would love to do something to boost both attendance and revenue at home matches, but how can it be done? I doubt if any one game promotion affecting the cost of an adult ticket would be able to do this and would almost certainly result in a net loss. The hope would be to see these supporters pay full cost of a ticket, and, in return, watch a game they would have not even contemplated attending had they not taken the offer in the first place.

I have made grammatical suggestions, but I have NO IDEA what you are trying to say!!

 

[boozl]

Our football club would love to do something to boost both attendance and revenue at home matches, but how can it be done? I doubt if any one game promotion affecting the cost of an adult ticket would be able to do this and would almost certainly result in a net loss. The hope would be to see these supporters pay full cost of a ticket, and, in return, watch a game they would have not even contemplated attending had they not taken the offer in the first place.

I have made grammatical suggestions, but I have NO IDEA what you are trying to say!!

Asking this question on a forum;

Our football club would love to do something to boost both attendance and revenue at home matches, but how can it be done?


I have NO IDEA as to what the answer is. The hope being that another forum member can tell me.