boy friend

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Ju

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Nov 6, 2006
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Student or Learner
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Chinese
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Hong Kong
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Hong Kong
May said, "Tom is my boyfriend."

1. In a conversation, how can we tell whether Tom is an ordinary friend of May or not. In my country, we only say those might have possibility to move to another stage of being husband and wife as boy friend.


May said, "I love you, Tom."

2. Again, how can we tell whether that love is between ordinary friends or in intimacy.

3. Any particular words I should add in the sentence to specify the love between ordinary and intimacy.


ju
 
As part of a conversation, the surrounding context will give you clues about their meaning.

In isolation they are ambiguous.

Rover
 
May said, "Tom is my boyfriend."

1. In a conversation, how can we tell whether Tom is an ordinary friend of May or not. In my country, we only say those might have possibility to move to another stage of being husband and wife as boy friend.


May said, "I love you, Tom."

2. Again, how can we tell whether that love is between ordinary friends or in intimacy.

3. Any particular words I should add in the sentence to specify the love between ordinary and intimacy.


ju


***** NOT A TEACHER *****


(1) As the teacher told us, this word is ambiguous in isolation.

(2) Non-native speakers need to be very careful in their use

of these words.

(3) For example, here in the United States, many women say

something like:

I love to go shopping with my girlfriends. In this case, the word

simply means "friend."

BUT a man cannot say:

I am going to the baseball game with my boyfriends!!! If a man uses

that word, then the word takes on a meaning having to do with romance.

(4) I hear that some languages have words that refer to exact

relationships between two people. English is not that exact.

(5) Some Americans use the term "significant other." This implies a

"romantic" aspect to the relationship.

(6) Here in the United States, the word "friend," too, can mean

more than just friendship!!! As the teacher told us, context is the

key. Even the word "roommate" can mean more than, well, "roommate"!!!

*****

(7) Americans often use "love" without any romantic overtones.

It often depends on how you say the word. There was a very

famous TV show on which one of the male characters fell deeply in

love with "Mary":

The man: I love you, Mary.

Mary (thinking that he meant "like"): Well, I love you, too.

The man: No, you don't understand, Mary. I (really!!!) LOVE you.

Mary: OMG!!!

(I have rewritten the actual dialogue a bit.)
 
If a couple are boyfriend and girlfriend, then they are romantically involved. When a romance is not involved (or the participants are denying the romance) it is not uncommon to hear an expression like:

"She's my girl friend, but she's not my girlfriend."
 
If a woman says "boyfriend", it's romantic. Otherwise it's a "guy friend".*


*in my "milieu" :-D
 
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