heartshine
Member
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2010
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Dutch
- Home Country
- Netherlands
- Current Location
- Netherlands
Hi, I need some help with a sentence I'm stuck with, it's the sentence in bold. I'm writing an English novel, but I'm dutch. The sentence is about a boy who wakes up in a chair after having a dream... I'm not happy with the flow of it, is there a better way to shape or complement it?
Slowly the blur before him shifted into focus again, taking the shape of his familiar basement room. Like in the moment when sleepiness had pulled down his heavy eyelids, Richard’s hand prevented a white laptop from sliding down his legs.
Thanks a lot!
Jesse
Slowly the blur before him shifted into focus again, taking the shape of his familiar basement room. Like in the moment when sleepiness had pulled down his heavy eyelids, Richard’s hand prevented a white laptop from sliding down his legs.
Thanks a lot!
Jesse