[Grammar] Grammar for business letter

[Revoib]

Is this okay?

Hello Monica
In view of the complexity, I'd like to avoid an email that might be confusing and rather have our business advisor Ron to contact your manager to discuss the different possibilities in order to find the best solution for you and Bill to carry out the opportunity of making a painting together

Thank you

 

[Academic Writing]

Hello Monica,


In [STRIKE]view [/STRIKE] light of the complexity, I'd like to avoid an e-mail that might be confusing and would rather have our business advisor Ron [STRIKE]to [/STRIKE]contact your manager to discuss the different possibilities [STRIKE]in order [/STRIKE]to find the best solution for you and Bill to [STRIKE]carry out the opportunity of making[/STRIKE] work on a painting together.


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In the first sentence you could also begin with "Given the complexity of the situation, . . . " or whatever is correct.

The second sentence was quite long, so I suggested a couple of ways to shorten it. There are many possibilities of course.

 

[emsr2d2]

Is this okay?

Hello Monica
In view of the complexity, I'd like to avoid an email that might be confusing and rather have our business advisor Ron to contact your manager to discuss the different possibilities in order to find the best solution for you and Bill to carry out the opportunity of making a painting together

Thank you

My suggested version:

Dear Monica

Given the complexity of the situation, I would prefer not to deal with this by email. I would rather have our business advisor, Ron, contact your manager to discuss the best of way of arranging for you and Bill to make a painting together (or to collaborate on a painting).

 

[may88]

Ref: Appeal for Late Submission - Year of Assessment 2010

I refer to the above matter and your letter dated 10/9/2012.

Attached herewith the documents for your perusal as requeted:

a) Photocopy of EA 2010
b) Photocopy of insurance statement

Kindly to waive off the imposed penalty of RMXX as my submission of the same was not later then the due date

Your reconsideration is highly appreciated.