ohmyrichard
Member
- Joined
- May 24, 2008
- Member Type
- English Teacher
- Native Language
- Chinese
- Home Country
- China
- Current Location
- China
Dear teachers,
Right at noon today, my student texted me asking about how to improve her sentence, which she would like to use in her writing assignment. The sentence goes as follows:
I still remembered 2008, an eventful year, has witnessed life teemed with miracles that we could survive all disasters occurred frequently with powerful will and extraordinary courage.
The following is my revision:
I still remember 2008, an eventful year, which witnessed life teeming with miracles proving/demonstrating that we can survive all natural disasters occurring frequently with our powerful will and extraordinary courage.
I am sure that there is still lots of room for improvement regarding my revision, but I do not know how to further improve it except that I faintly sense that there is the redundancy problem with the part of "our powerful will and extraordinary courage". Would you please help me to make the sentence sound natural? Thanks a lot.
Richard
Right at noon today, my student texted me asking about how to improve her sentence, which she would like to use in her writing assignment. The sentence goes as follows:
I still remembered 2008, an eventful year, has witnessed life teemed with miracles that we could survive all disasters occurred frequently with powerful will and extraordinary courage.
The following is my revision:
I still remember 2008, an eventful year, which witnessed life teeming with miracles proving/demonstrating that we can survive all natural disasters occurring frequently with our powerful will and extraordinary courage.
I am sure that there is still lots of room for improvement regarding my revision, but I do not know how to further improve it except that I faintly sense that there is the redundancy problem with the part of "our powerful will and extraordinary courage". Would you please help me to make the sentence sound natural? Thanks a lot.
Richard