Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
Please, would you take a look at my short story A Couple, part four and correct my mistakes.
“What are we going to do now?” she asked, not because she was interested in his answer but rather to hide her own disappointment. He looked into her eyes, which radiated coldness he had never seen before. He remembered what his mother had told him when she saw her for the first time. “This woman isn’t for you. She is going to leave you when you need her the most. She’s in love only with money and herself...”
“I really don’t know.” He shrugged. “We’ve to be positive. My parents are going to help us, probably yours also.” But he knew well that neither his nor her parents were wealthy enough to borrow them money. They would be forced to move to a smaller flat, completely change their way of living, and forget about dinners in restaurants and other luxuries. They sat in silence amid the earthy paradise, and started to feel like aliens. Their troubles had built an invisible wall, which prevented them to perceive the beauty of nature around them. Nature was pure harmony, while they themselves were gradually turning into a mess.
“I feel restless,” she said and rose. He sighed in relief, but did not dare to look into her eyes. They retraced their steps through the wild grass, this time without holding hands, immersed in their own thoughts - two lonely human beings whose hearts were devoid of fondness. She had forgotten the beautiful bouquet, which he noticed, but did not dare to tell her. They were so absorbed in their broodings that they had not seen a large black snake crossing their path just before they entered the woods.
THE END
“What are we going to do now?” she asked, not because she was interested in his answer but rather to hide her own disappointment. He looked into her eyes, which radiated coldness he had never seen before. He remembered what his mother had told him when she saw her for the first time. “This woman isn’t for you. She is going to leave you when you need her the most. She’s in love only with money and herself...”
“I really don’t know.” He shrugged. “We’ve to be positive. My parents are going to help us, probably yours also.” But he knew well that neither his nor her parents were wealthy enough to borrow them money. They would be forced to move to a smaller flat, completely change their way of living, and forget about dinners in restaurants and other luxuries. They sat in silence amid the earthy paradise, and started to feel like aliens. Their troubles had built an invisible wall, which prevented them to perceive the beauty of nature around them. Nature was pure harmony, while they themselves were gradually turning into a mess.
“I feel restless,” she said and rose. He sighed in relief, but did not dare to look into her eyes. They retraced their steps through the wild grass, this time without holding hands, immersed in their own thoughts - two lonely human beings whose hearts were devoid of fondness. She had forgotten the beautiful bouquet, which he noticed, but did not dare to tell her. They were so absorbed in their broodings that they had not seen a large black snake crossing their path just before they entered the woods.
THE END