[Grammar] is this sentence grammatically correct in english?

[Jehane Ibrahim]

Dear All
I hope to know if this sentence is grammatically correct in english:

"Therefore, the aim of our study was to evaluate the mutational frequency and expression pattern of two proinflammatory cytokine genes (IL-1b and IL-6) in the pulmonary tissues of immunocompromised mice (infected with A. fumigates or A. flavus), and compared the data with that of the respective immunocompetent mice in order to elucidate their role within the pulmonary tissues in propagation of the infection at the molecular level."

Regards

 

[MikeNewYork]

I think this would be better as two sentences. The two verbs separated by "and" are not parallel.

"Therefore, the aim of our study was to evaluate the mutational frequency and expression pattern of two proinflammatory cytokine genes (IL-1b and IL-6) in the pulmonary tissues of immunocompromised mice (infected with A. fumigatus or A. flavus). We then compared the data with that of the respective immunocompetent mice in order to elucidate the role of the cytokines within the pulmonary tissues in propagation of the infection at the molecular level."

Note the change in spelling of "fumigatus". I changed "their role" because, as it was written, "their" referred to immunocompetent mice. I do not understand the use of the word "respective". Unless it is needed, I would delete "the respective".

 

[5jj]

I think the second half may well be intended as a second part of the aim. If so, then the '... and compared ..' should read '... and to compare ...'

 

[MikeNewYork]

That is possible. Perhaps the OP will tell us.

 

[emsr2d2]

Note that a better title for this thread would have been "Therefore, the aim of our study". A thread title should include some or all of the words being queried.

 

[Jehane Ibrahim]

I think this would be better as two sentences. The two verbs separated by "and" are not parallel.

"Therefore, the aim of our study was to evaluate the mutational frequency and expression pattern of two proinflammatory cytokine genes (IL-1b and IL-6) in the pulmonary tissues of immunocompromised mice (infected with A. fumigatus or A. flavus). We then compared the data with that of the respective immunocompetent mice in order to elucidate the role of the cytokines within the pulmonary tissues in propagation of the infection at the molecular level."

Note the change in spelling of "fumigatus". I changed "their role" because, as it was written, "their" referred to immunocompetent mice. I do not understand the use of the word "respective". Unless it is needed, I would delete "the respective".

Thank you very much for your helpful comments and corrections.

 

[Jehane Ibrahim]

I think the second half may well be intended as a second part of the aim. If so, then the '... and compared ..' should read '... and to compare ...'

Thank you very much for your useful information.

 

[emsr2d2]

Please note that there is no need to write any new posts to say "Thank you". Simply click the Thank button in the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find helpful.

 

[Jehane Ibrahim]

What is your opinion about this?

Therefore, the aim of our study was to evaluate the mutational frequency and expression pattern of two proinflammatory cytokine genes (IL-1b and IL-6) in the pulmonary tissues of immunocompromised mice (infected with A. fumigatus or A. flavus). And to compare the data with that of the respective immunocompetent mice in order to elucidate the role of the cytokines within the pulmonary tissues in propagation of the infection at the molecular level.

 

[5jj]

The 'Thank' facility also cuts out the need for long quotation of posts.

By the way, which of our two ideas was closer to your intended meaning?

 

[MikeNewYork]

Because you changed to "and to", it appears that 5jj was correct. However, there should be no period after "flavus)" and "and" should not be capitalized. I still don't understand the use of "the respective".

 

[5jj]

@ Jehane Ibrahim: Mike's suggestion of breaking the sentence into two sentences would have been right if his interpretation had been correct, but it was relevant only to that interpretation. If my interpretation was correct, as your revised sentence suggests, then you need only one long sentence. You don't even need a comma.

Like Mike, I don't understand the 'respective'.