HunterCool
New member
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2015
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Chinese
- Home Country
- China
- Current Location
- China
Hey, I'm a high school counselor in a non-English-speaking Asian country, and I'm not a native speaker of English. I wrote an essay for the U.S. college common application system just to practice my writing. However, in addition to any potential grammar mistakes, I had a few issues about the structures of the article. The following is a draft about of the essay.
My American friend told me he didn't quite understand the transition of my role and my motivation to break the rule and offend school, while I thought it was pretty obvious that anyone being lied would feel angry and had an urge to let others know the truth, while some go very far and some don't. And I belonged to the former group. The thing is, I can write the article in more details and clarify the logic. For example, at the end of the article, in case reader didn't quite comprehend it, I can add "I regard this (the discipline record) not a stigma, but an honor" But by doing that and a lot of other fixes in details, and by being very clear, I think the reader would lose the fun of the "A~ha" moment.
Please tell me your thought, any help would be greatly appreciated.
My American friend told me he didn't quite understand the transition of my role and my motivation to break the rule and offend school, while I thought it was pretty obvious that anyone being lied would feel angry and had an urge to let others know the truth, while some go very far and some don't. And I belonged to the former group. The thing is, I can write the article in more details and clarify the logic. For example, at the end of the article, in case reader didn't quite comprehend it, I can add "I regard this (the discipline record) not a stigma, but an honor" But by doing that and a lot of other fixes in details, and by being very clear, I think the reader would lose the fun of the "A~ha" moment.
Please tell me your thought, any help would be greatly appreciated.
